


Finding Home

by evl_rgl



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Family, Romance, T rating for mentions of serious accident in later chapter, season 3b
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:00:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 39,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24236920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evl_rgl/pseuds/evl_rgl
Summary: “I wanted to remember you so badly that I pulled back your cursed town just so that the memories would make sense. I needed you so badly that even when I had no memory of you, I still tried to find you.”Regina gave Emma and Henry memories of a happy life together before they fled Pan’s curse, leaving them with no memories of their lives in Storybrooke.  However, when the memory spell shows signs of failing, threatening to rip apart the minds of both Emma and Henry, Regina makes a drastic choice to go back and fix it, understanding that it will mean living alone in a world where her son doesn’t know her.  Was the spell really faulty, though?  (swanqueen)
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills & Henry Mills, Evil Queen | Regina Mills & Henry Mills & Emma Swan, Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 16
Kudos: 157





	1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! The entire story is finished, but I need to proofread and edit a bit still. This idea was itching in the back of my mind, so I cranked out the whole ~40,000 word story in about two days. On the upside, the whole story should be out in the next week!**

**This is a swanqueen story. The whole thing is a deep dive into what happiness means for Emma, Regina, and Henry. It’s my exploration of what might have happened in the second half of Season 3 if Regina returned instead of Hook. There’s also no Zelena, and no mention of Robin Hood, Hook, or Neal.**

**TW: This chapter contains discussions of grief and loss.**

**I do not own OUAT or any of it's characters.**

* * *

Chapter 1

An icy winter breeze scattered the last reluctant leaves of fall down the sidewalk. The trees were bare, and their naked branches tapped and scraped at the windows of the buildings that crowded the narrow street. Gray light was slowly poking through the clouds, hinting at the possibility of snow. For a moment, everything was still as though teetering on the edge of two seasons, unsure about whether to proceed. It was unusual to have such silence in New York—even more unusual to have silence and calm in her life.

Emma sighed, breaking the silence. The release of her breath was like a quiet acknowledgment that everything needed to keep moving. She needed to keep moving. That’s why they were here, after all: to keep going.

She shivered, realizing how cold the car had become after she had cut the engine almost thirty minutes earlier. Her coat was draped over her son in the backseat. He’d wrapped his hands tightly around one of the arms, so she knew she couldn’t grab it without waking him. Instead, she crossed her arms tightly around her front, rubbing her shoulders to warm them. She wasn’t ready to go inside yet.

The new apartment was great, and she knew it. She just wasn’t ready to go inside yet. It was never going to feel like home, not like the home they’d had together back in Boston.

Her son, Henry, snored lightly, pulling her from her thoughts. Her knuckles were stiff from the cold and ached as she tucked them into her elbows. She couldn’t stay like this much longer. Just a few more minutes, she told herself. Just a few more minutes before she and her son started their life as a family of two instead of a family of three.

* * *

A year after their move, Emma and Henry had fallen into a comfortable groove. Henry had adjusted easily to his new surroundings and Emma was a mix of proud and envious at how easily he could be happy again. Not that she was unhappy. Her job was engaging and interesting, she got to spend plenty of quality time with Henry, and she had even managed to make a few friends. She had even thought about dating again, but she didn’t feel ready quite yet.

Emma whisked a few eggs together as she watched Henry water the plants that filled all of the windowsills. He was wearing a green plaid shirt that they’d bought a few days earlier. It was his first day of school and he had told her that he needed to, ‘dress to impress.’ She’d laughed at the goofy grin he made after giving her that line, but she had to admit that he looked pretty sharp.

She poured the eggs into the pan before taking out her phone. She took a quick picture of Henry and captioned it “first day duds” before sending it. The sound of the text balloon inflating on the messenger app made her stop for a moment, only to be pulled back to reality by the insistent sizzling of the eggs. I did it again, she scolded herself as she stuffed the phone in her pocket.

“You sent it to mom’s old number again, didn’t you?” Henry asked as he grabbed two plates from the drying rack. They both knew that Emma should just delete the number—they’d talked about it the numerous other times that she had sent pictures or messages without thinking—but she wasn’t ready. “She would have liked it,” he told her gently.

Emma smiled as she tipped the eggs into large bowl. “Yeah, kid.” Yet another reminder to her about how lucky she was to have Henry.

* * *

The bus pulled to a screeching stop in front of Henry’s school. He could barely hear the screaming of the breaks over the music in his earbuds, not that he would have noticed anyway. His entire attention was on the leather-bound story book that he always carried. He knew the stories by heart and the tales didn’t quite captivate him as they used to. All except those about the Evil Queen—those stories still captured his focus. It’s not that they were particularly suspenseful or anything, but the illustrations on the accompanying pages reminded him of his late mother. He reread the stories time and time again, fashioning his own interpretations that favored the character who looked so like his mother. It was his small way of keeping her close.

He tucked the book into his bag and joined the line of students shuffling off of the bus. His first day of school rushed by in a flurry of introductions and reacquainting. By the time his last period came, he was a comfortable mixture of excited and exhausted. His final class of the day was literature. The literature teacher from the previous year had retired, and Henry was anxious to see who would be teaching his favorite course.

The final bell rang as everyone moved toward their seats. Students continued to talk loudly about their summers, almost drowning out the click of the teacher’s heels on the tile floor.

“Hello, class,” the teacher said. Although she didn’t raise her voice, it carried over the ruckus and prompted the students to take their seats. That’s when Henry finally caught a glimpse of her.

The chalk scraped across the surface of the board, casting a faint white dust into the air as it left neat white lines. It felt like time had slowed to a crawl as he watched her draw letters across the board. His eyes were playing tricks on him. They must be.

“My name is Ms. Mills and I will be your literature teacher this year,” she said pleasantly as she reached for the stack of course outlines.

Henry could feel the color leaving his face. The room blurred slightly. Had he forgotten to breathe? He coughed loudly as he took in a breath, much louder than he would have liked.

“Are you alright?” his teacher asked.

“Just need some water,” Henry muttered as he stumbled out of the room. He ran around the corner and pushed into the bathroom. His elbows rested on the sink as he twisted the handle for cold water. After splashing his face several times, Henry started to feel like he had come back to reality.

Ms. Mills was like an exact copy of his dead mother.

“It just in your head,” he told himself.

For a while after he and Emma had moved to New York, Henry thought he’d seen his mother in a variety of places around the city. His therapist had explained that his mind hadn’t accepted that she was gone and kept trying to find her. Sometimes he would see her in a crowd after he’d had a hard day, but it was only ever for a moment. He’d think she was there, and then he’d blink and she was gone—an unwelcome reminder of his mother’s absence. His therapist had explained that it would likely stop as his mind processed the loss of his mother.

This was different, though. She was there after he blinked. He could hear her. She had spoken to him.

“I’m losing my mind,” he told himself as he ran his fingers through his hair. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and tried to call his mom. The call went to voicemail, so he hung up and tried again.

After five tries, Emma finally picked up. “Hey, kid. Sorry, I was with a client.” He could hear the wind in her phone and the creak of her car door opening. “Shouldn’t you be in class right now? Is something wrong?”

“I—,” his voice cracked as he spoke. He swallowed hard, trying to regain his composure. “I thought I saw mom. My teacher, she—I think I’m hallucinating.” His voice shook as he tried to explain.

“I’m on my way,” Emma said. Henry could hear the car door slam shut and the engine roaring to life. “I can be there in ten minutes. Will you be okay until then?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled.

“Okay, I’ll meet you out front,” she told him before ending the call.

* * *

Emma sat in the stiff chair of the chilly waiting room. After Henry’s episode at school, they had both agreed to give therapy another try. Henry had seen a therapist for a while after they moved, but Emma hadn’t wanted to see one for herself. Talking to the counselor in prison had only served to dig up the most painful parts of her past without offering much resolve, and she couldn’t afford to be emotionally deconstructed while Henry was relying on her. She didn’t want to dig up the memories of her sordid childhood and adolescence, and she especially did not want to dig into the more recent memories. She and Henry had agreed, though. They would do this together. So here she was, pretending to care about the emails on her phone while the therapist prepared for their session.

Her eye caught an email from Henry’s guidance counselor. Emma had asked that he be put into a different literature class and the guidance counselor had fought her on it. They told her that Henry couldn’t run from every reminder of his late mother, that he needed to learn to cope. After raising her voice in a meeting with the guidance counselor and assistant principal—something she wasn’t proud of, but refused to apologize for—they had agreed that an exception could be made this time. However, the guidance counselor kept insisting that something more be done to resolve this issue. Emma trashed the email.

“Emma?” The therapist stood in the doorway of the nearby office and waived at Emma to come in.

The small office was warmer than the waiting room, likely due to the small space heater that was humming in the far corner. There was a wooden desk across from the door with a computer that was facing away from her. The desk chair that was tucked behind the desk signaled that the therapist would not be sitting there. Instead, they would be sitting in the plush arm chairs on the opposite side of the room. The privacy shades were pulled on all of the windows, keeping prying eyes out while still allowing some light in the room. The color of the sunlight through the shades cast an odd shade of blue over all the surfaces. Despite the warmth and the plush chairs, it all felt very sterile, only offering the appearance of comfort.

“Why don’t you have a seat, Emma?” The woman motioned toward the chairs as she closed the door. “I want you to know that this is a safe space,” she said. The therapist, Nadine Wilson, specialized in grief counseling. Emma had hoped that they would stick to only talking about grief, but the ‘safe space’ comment led her to believe that this woman might want to talk about more than her recent past. “So,” she started as she sat down. “What brings you here today?”

“My son was having some trouble getting over the loss of his other mom, and I agreed that I would go to therapy if he would.” She said the words quickly and bluntly.

“His other mother? Were you a couple?” The question wasn’t asked maliciously. The therapist’s pen was ready to note Emma’s relationship to Henry’s other mother.

“Yes,” she said quietly.

“Why don’t you tell me about her?” The question was gentle, but it still made Emma bristle.

“The memories are all a bit fuzzy,” Emma admitted quietly. “I try not to think about them much. They don’t feel real now.” She tugged at a lock of hair nervously, tossing it over her shoulder when she saw the therapist watching her. “It’s just makes me feel like something is missing.”

“It’s not unusual to feel that way after losing a loved one. A big part of your life is suddenly gone and it’s hard to make sense of it.” The words were kind, but they still had the ring of rehearsal behind them—she must have said those exact words every day. “Why don’t we start with how you met?”

Emma swallowed. “Henry was sent to live with her while I was in prison.” Emma waited to see if the therapist would react. When she didn’t, Emma continued. “She was a difficult person to love, at least at first. Her guard was always up. She really loved Henry, though. I didn’t believe her at first, but I saw how much she had done for him and how she wanted to fight to keep him—.” Emma stopped suddenly. It was like part of her memories felt more real than others. They were mixed with saccharine recollections that Emma couldn’t quite fit together.

Emma tried to grab a memory that felt solid, but they kept slipping between the fuzzy images she had of a life that felt like it wasn’t hers. She managed to latch on to a description of her wife that felt whole. “Regina,” Emma said aloud, almost shocked by the sound of the name. “Her name was Regina.” The name felt foreign for some reason, almost forbidden.

The therapist scribbled the name down and looked at Emma to continue.

“She always had her guard up, like me.” Emma spoke as though she were having an epiphany rather than recalling a memory. “She trusted me, though. We understood each other in a way the people around us didn’t. In a way that other people couldn’t.” Emma didn’t notice the tears starting to form at the corners of her eyes. “Then main thing I remember about her is that she would have given anything for Henry and I to be happy.”

Emma’s mind snapped as it released the memory of Regina disappearing into the smoke. She shuddered as the image played out in her mind. That felt real. Too real. The details were sharp, and the images filled her vision. A dull throb started to build behind her temple as the memory came into focus.

“Emma? Are you alright?” The therapist waited. “Can you tell me what happened to Regina?”

The therapist’s voice pulled Emma from the memory. She tried to grasp at it, to hold onto that clear image of Regina fading into the smoke, but it started to slip just out of reach as she tried to respond.

Emma took a deep breath. This part she remembered vividly. It was like it played on loop through her whole drive from Boston to New York. “Our place in Boston burned down. We lost everything.” Emma watched Regina disappear into the smoke. There old life, gone in an instant.

“Was Regina in the fire, Emma?”

“Yes,” she said quietly. “I don’t know what caused it, but it ripped everything away from Henry and I.” She was shaking slightly, trying to hold back emotions that she had buried.

“None of this feels right,” she managed as she finally allowed herself to cry. “When she was here it felt like we could move the moon and stars together. Now that she’s gone, it feels like my life isn’t right. Like this isn’t my life.”

“Losing someone who was such a big part of your life can often feel that way,” the therapist said reassuringly. “It can feel like it’s broken your internal narrative in two: before and after your loss.” She put her pen down. “Trauma upsets our understanding of the world, and it can take some time to make sense of things again.”

Emma stayed quiet as she tried to regain her composure. She nodded, acknowledging the explanation the therapist had offered.

The rest of the session was spent talking about coping techniques and a plan for future sessions. Emma was there and she participated, but her mind was elsewhere. She was trying to focus on the memory of Regina disappearing into the smoke. It wasn’t from the fire. She and Henry hadn’t been there when their home burned. So why did it feel more real than everything else?

* * *

Emma waited in her car near Henry’s school. She sipped her slightly burnt coffee from the cheap diner around the corner. The session had been rough for her and she had taken the rest of her day off to calm down. Her phone sat on the dashboard with a message already entered but not sent.

With everything being so new over the last year, it had been easy for Emma and Henry to not reflect on what they’d left behind in Boston. Some days it felt like her mind was actively pushing her to not focus on the memories of her old life.

She picked up her phone and looked at the message she had typed. She must have said these words before, but some part of her felt like it was an admission she was making for the first time.

‘I miss you.’

She hit send and tossed the phone back onto the dashboard. A few hundred yards away inside the school, Regina’s phone buzzed from within her pocket.

* * *

Months earlier in the Enchanted Forest, Snow and Charming stood before a full-length mirror. It sat adjacent to the balcony doors and had an ornate metal frame that glimmered in the early morning light. Regina had transported it to the chamber that morning after she and Blue had finally managed to enchant it.

They could see Henry and Emma getting ready for their day, making breakfast. Henry was taller now and Emma’s hair had gotten longer. They looked happy, though.

“Are you all packed for camp?” Emma asked Henry as she poured juice into their glasses.

Henry came running into the kitchen, sliding his camp shirt on over his t-shirt. “Yep!” He smiled at Emma as he grabbed two plates and brought them to the table. “Are you sure you can manage without me?”

Emma chuckled, “I think I’ll be able to figure it out.” She pulled out her phone and snapped a picture of Henry in his camp attire. As she sent the picture in a message on her phone, she frowned and stuffed the phone back into her pocket.

Snow and Charming watched them for hours, completely entranced by the sight of their daughter and grandson. If not for Grumpy’s yelling in the hall, they might have watched all day. They couldn’t say anything or interact, but this allowed them to still feel like they were a part of Emma’s and Henry’s lives.

For weeks, Snow watched her family in the mirror every morning and every night. She noted Emma and Henry’s routines and tried to keep track of all the events in their lives. They talked about new friends Henry had made, the books he was reading for a school contest, and the plans Emma had made for their end of summer trip. Everything seemed to be pleasant for them, and yet Snow kept catching glimmers of something else.

Snow couldn’t get it out of her head that something was clearly bothering the two of them. Emma kept sending messages to someone who never answered, and she scolded herself for it. Henry kept something hidden in his bag that he looked at on days when he seemed upset. Snow kept pointing out the odd behaviors to Charming, but he brushed them off more easily. Perhaps because Snow had spent more time around both Henry and Emma, she was more attuned to their emotions? She needed to talk to someone who was equally familiar with Henry or Emma in order to confirm her hunch.

She marched to Regina’s chamber, ready to push through the doors and badger the woman with her concerns. Just as she reached the doors, though, she paused. Regina hadn’t spoken much to anyone since they’d returned. She’d gotten them into the castle and helped restore much of the kingdom, but otherwise she hadn’t said more than a few words to anyone. Losing Henry had taken a toll and finding out that he wasn’t completely happy in his new life might be too much for her. Snow stood with her fist raised, ready to knock, but fighting herself over whether she ought to. Despite their history, Snow didn’t want to cause her stepmother any more pain.

“I can hear you breathing, Snow,” Regina’s voice rang through the thick wooden door.

Snow pushed open the door and took in the sight of Regina’s chamber. The long wooden table was covered in books and scrolls in various languages. Regina’s chest of potion materials was open on one end, but all of the vials appeared to still be in place. The vanity in the corner had collected a light coating of dust from going unused for days. The curtains were open but the windows were closed, as they had likely been for days judging by the stale taste of the air. Snow remembered how, when Regina was first learning magic, she had always kept the windows closed when she was working so as not to scatter her materials. Whatever had grabbed her concern now had clearly been consuming her for some time.

Regina stood near the far window, staring at a hand mirror. Her hair was tied back at the crown of her head, a style that made her eyes appear more piercing. She wore a fitted riding coat that was hemmed at her mid-calf. The fabric was a deep red matte, much plainer than the bejeweled gowns Snow had seen her wear before the curse. Even without the jewels, though, Regina exuded regalness.

As Snow approached, she noticed that Regina’s brow was furrowed in frustration as she looked into the mirror. She could see the image of Henry moving in the mirror’s surface.

“What do you want, Snow?” The words were cold, but lacking the bite that Regina was known for. She sounded more exhausted than angry.

“Regina, does Henry seem happy—,” Snow started.

“Did you seriously come here to ask me that?” There was bite behind those words. Snow would have to tread lightly on this topic.

“Of course they are,” Snow said, trying to validate that Regina had done as she promised and given them happy memories. “I just...I noticed something odd...about their behavior.” She paused to gauge Regina’s reaction. When the other woman said nothing she continued, “I don’t know what it is, but something seems off. Have you noticed anything? Maybe it was something in the memories you gave them?” Snow braced herself after the last question, expecting Regina to interpret it as an attack.

Regina stayed silent, watching Henry in the mirror.

“Regina, what was in the memories you gave them?” Snow asked softly.

“I can’t know for sure, Snow,” Regina admitted. “I used the memories I had of Henry’s childhood as a framework and then the spell fills in the details that would make them both the happiest.” She sighed as she finally looked up at Snow, then out the window. “The spell won’t drown out everything, much like how you and Charming still seemed to remember one another during the curse. My best guess is that the spell masked the loss of their family with the loss of their home in Boston.” Regina sounded slightly defeated in her explanation.

“So you noticed it, too,” Snow confirmed.

“Of course I noticed. I’m not blind,” she said, not quite as snappy as intended. Something was bothering her and she wasn’t hiding it well.

“Regina? What is it?” Snow asked.

“What do you mean, ‘what is it?’” Regina growled. “My son is upset and I can’t comfort him!” Snow could hear the anger, but she knew it was only to mask the deep sadness that Regina was feeling.

Snow wanted to reach out and hug her stepmother. She didn’t—Regina would certainly not appreciate the gesture—but she wanted so badly to be able to comfort her. Snow had Charming and all of her friends to comfort her after the return, but Regina was isolated in her grief. She had watched her stepmother retreat into herself since their return, not intentionally pushing away, but not seeking support either. Regina had a lifetime of practice shouldering her pain alone, but very little in way of asking for help. Snow often found herself worrying about Regina, that she might be much worse off than her harsh exterior suggested.

Regina took a deep breath, pushing down her frustration and calming her temper. “I just—I can’t help him.” Regina said, barely keeping her voice from shaking. “I can’t help either of them.”

Snow took Regina’s elbow, tugging her slightly in the direction of the door. When the other woman didn’t pull away, she started to lead her. “Watch them with me?” she suggested.

Regina nodded, surprising herself as she followed Snow into the hall.

They spent the afternoon watching Henry and Emma on a trip to a beach. It looked so much like the beach in Storybrooke that they almost felt like they were all together again. Henry and Emma played in the water together until Emma took a break and returned to their towels. Henry continued to swim in the water while Emma watched. She took a video of Henry jumping in the waves and squealing as the cold water threatened to topple him over. Just as Snow had seen her do before, Emma sent the video to someone on her phone and then stared at it with disappointment.

Regina’s eyes filled with horror as she anticipated Emma’s next words. Part of her knew what was coming but didn’t want to believe it.

“You taught him to walk at the beach,” Emma said as she smiled and tucked the phone away.

Regina gasped softly, trying and failing to not draw Snow’s attention.

“Who is she talking to, Regina?” Snow asked after seeing the look on her face.

Regina stood and waived her hand in front of the mirror so that she could see the contact information on Emma’s phone. The number that should not have been there.

“I think she’s talking to me,” Regina whispered.

* * *

Charming, Snow, and Regina sat around the table in the main hall. Regina had never been allowed to sit at this table when she was queen, but her stepdaughter had insisted that she be included after their return. She felt out of place and was still getting used to the idea that Snow wanted her here. Today, though, she was the subject of the meeting rather than an attendee.

“Why would they remember you, Regina?” Charming seemed to have assumed that Regina intentionally inserted herself into Henry’s and Emma’s new memories.

“Why would I want this, Charming?” she spat back at him. “Why would I want them to remember me when I can’t be with them?” She stood, pushing the chair back loudly with her legs. Despite her small frame and only modest height, Regina could look terribly imposing when she wanted. However, this gesture served only to hide the twist of emotions that threatened to give way if pressed: hurt at the implication that she might want her son to know she was gone, sadness at not being able to comfort the loss he was feeling, and the overwhelming feeling of misery at being separated from him. Regina turned away from them, crossing her arms tightly across her chest.

“David,” Snow said as she pulled at the fabric of his sleeve. “She didn’t do this.”

“It doesn’t matter,” the Blue Fairy’s voice carried through the hall as she entered. “If they pull to hard at that memory, it could threaten to unravel the entire spell.”

“So they would remember us—,” Snow started.

“Not necessarily,” Regina interrupted. “The realms are separated now. It’s like we were never there.”

“So they would be remembering people who don’t exist,” Blue finished. “It could be fine, albeit painful.”

“That’s the best-case scenario,” Regina muttered. “The worst case is that they end up going insane, unable to reconcile the reality that never existed with the reality they currently occupy.” She rubbed at her shoulder anxiously. “This shouldn’t have been possible.”

Blue waited a moment in case Regina had more to add. “This has never happened before, so we have no way of knowing what will happen.” Blue landed on the table near Snow and Charming. “Normally, if a memory spell proved faulty, a potion could be used to erase the problematic memories and make the spell more stable.”

“Which isn’t an option now because we can’t get to them,” Regina finished, punctuating the last words with evident frustration. Without getting to them, there was nothing she could do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Let's see how many chapters I can get out today. I originally typed this whole story on my phone (I do not recommend that habit to anyone), so I apologize for any typos I miss. Here's chapter 2!**

**I do not own OUAT or any of it's characters.**

* * *

Chapter 2

Regina arranged the papers on her desk at the front of her classroom. Henry had been switched into another class several weeks earlier and she hadn't seen him since. She'd started to get used to her role as a teacher, although it was secondary to her main purpose for being in New York.

She twisted the vial of fairy dust that hung around her neck. She just needed to get close enough to both Henry and Emma to fix memory spell. There was no going back after the spell, though, so Regina was doing her best to accept her new role as a middle school literature teacher.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket as she received another message from Emma.

'I miss you.'

Regina stared at the message for a moment. She scrolled through the history of messages, almost all of which were pictures of Henry and Emma from the last year. At the very beginning was picture of an apartment building and several half-finished messages from Emma.

'It won't be home without you.'

The message was immediately followed by a message Regina felt was very 'Emma Swan.' There was a little vomiting emoji followed by, 'You never did like cheesy lines.'

So the spell had somehow woven her into the false memories, Regina realized. As long as they didn't remember her in complete detail, the memory might still be malleable enough to be easily altered. Regina scanned the messages looking for any sign of her name. She was relieved when she didn't find it.

Regina heard the sound of the last few students leaving the halls. She looked out the window and watched the last few students running out to their parents' cars. Unexpectedly, she saw Henry walking toward a very familiar yellow Bug. He was carrying a large box, likely holding a recent class project. His backpack was dangling from one shoulder as he balanced the box in his arms. Henry put his bag and the box on the roof of the car before opening the trunk and beginning to load his things into it.

Just as he had loaded the box into the trunk, another boy road by on a bike and called out to him, distracting Henry from his task. He closed the trunk and ran to the front of the car to speak to his friend. As the other boy waived goodbye and rode off, Henry got into the passenger side of the Bug.

As the Bug turned onto the main road, Henry's bag slid from the roof and landed next to the curb. 'He gets that absentmindedness from you, Miss Swan,' Regina thought to herself. She pulled on her coat and locked the classroom as she left. She walked briskly to where she had seen the bag fall and pulled it onto her shoulder. The contents landed against her back with a loud thud. There was a smell that escaped the corner of the bag that was so familiar. It wasn't just the smell of Henry, that hung on the fabric. She walked to her car and unzipped the pocket.

The worn leather and frayed paper edges seemed to glare at her from inside the backpack. The same backpack she'd bought for him the year Emma came to Storybrooke. The same backpack in which he always carried the book.

She pulled the book out opening to the page Henry had marked. Her own smiling face looked out at her. It was the story about her and Daniel. The corner of the page was smudged, as though it had been touched many times. It was the only image of her in the book that showed her truly happy. Unlike when Henry went to get Emma in Boston, back when he saw her as the Evil Queen, this time he remembered her as Regina. As much as it warmed her heart to know her son didn't remember her as a villain, though, she was immediately struck with the realization that his memory of her might be more vivid than she had expected. Even more concerning was how he had gotten the book—the book that had disappeared when she destroyed the curse.

* * *

Emma skimmed through news articles, not fully reading any of them. The therapy session from earlier kept playing through her mind.

Henry had gone to visit his friend Avery after they got home, so Emma was on her own until at least 8pm. It was a bit of a relief to be off of mom-duty after the rough day she'd had. She thought about calling one of her friends to have them over for drinks, but was worried she might be too emotionally exhausted. Instead, she had settled on drinking some of her stash on hard cider while finding something online to distract herself.

Her phone buzzed next to her. It was a Friday night, so she was willing to bet that Henry wanted to stay they night at Avery's house. She looked down at the alert on her screen, internally applauding her accurate guess. She told him to text her when he was leaving tomorrow before pouring herself another glass of cider. It wasn't as good as Regina's used to be, but it was acceptable.

The name still had an unusual ring to it, like a secret she wasn't supposed to know. She took a swig of the cider and tried to remember what Regina looked like. Her dark hair cut at her jawline. Her small frame that always seemed to cast a more imposing shadow than made sense. Her dark eyes that sparkled when she looked at Henry. Her smile—

Emma's thoughts were interrupted by a sharp knock at the door. She shot back the last of the cider in her glass before going to answer. In her flurry of thoughts, she didn't think to check the peep hole before opening the door.

She stood, mouth agape, in stunned silence. There, standing in front of her, was an exact replica of her wife.

"Hi, I'm—"

"Regina," Emma gasped.

"I'm sorry, have we met?" Regina asked, doing her best to not trip Emma's internal lie detector.

Emma stared for several seconds, wanting so badly to pull Regina into her. This wasn't her wife, though, and she knew that. "No," she said looking down. "No, I don't think we have."

"I'm a teacher at Henry's school and I found his bag laying on the curb as I was leaving," Regina explained as she held out the bag. "The address was printed on the tag and I live nearby, so I thought I'd drop it off." She was still holding out the bag, but Emma wasn't responding. "Are you alright, Miss Swan?" The name slipped out before she could stop herself. She immediately regretted saying it.

"I'm sorry," Emma finally said, giving them both a chance to finally breathe. "You just—you look like someone." She couldn't quite figure out how to explain herself. Everything from the session earlier that day was rushing back. Her face twisted unusually as she tried to keep from falling apart in her doorway. "Do you—do you like cider?" she managed.

Regina didn't know what to say. "Yes, I like cider," she said awkwardly.

Emma motioned for her to enter and headed for the kitchen. She pulled out a second glass and the growler of cider. "My wife used to make better stuff, but this is decent." She slid a glass toward Regina.

"Your wife?" Regina asked, genuinely confused about who Emma was speaking about. She placed Henry's bag on the floor near the doorway—feeling how much lighter it was without the weight of the storybook—before joining Emma at the kitchen counter.

"Yep," Emma sighed. She took a long drink of her cider before tap the glass on the countertop. "She died in a fire about a year ago."

"I'm so sorry," Regina said. This didn't make sense. The memories were supposed to be happy, but Emma seemed saddened by what she was saying.

"Thanks," Emma said quietly. "Sorry, you don't even know me. I shouldn't dump that on you."

Regina took a sip of the cider. Emma was right, it was only decent at best. "It's fine," Regina told her. "I lost my son in an accident about a year ago, so I understand."

Emma clinked her glass against Regina's. "To those we've lost," she said as she prepared to take a drink.

"To those we've lost," Regina repeated.

The silence hung between them for a moment before Emma spoke again. "It's weird, you look so much like her."

"I do?" The cider was decent but not weak. Regina hopes Emma was already intoxicated enough not to notice how bad she was at lying.

"Yep." Emma pour them both another glass of cider.

"Are you sure we should keep drinking? Won't your son be coming back?" If Henry came home soon, she could fix the faulty memory spell tonight and spare the two of them anymore pain.

"He's gone for the night," Emma told her, pretending to celebrate by throwing up her free arm.

Regina knew she shouldn't pry, in case it triggered any real memories, but her curiosity was getting the better of her. "So, what was your wife like?"

"Huge bitch," Emma laughed. "She was a stubborn hothead. At first we fought all the damn time." The words Emma was saying sounded insulting, but her smile was so warm. "She was fierce."

"What a ringing endorsement of my doppelgänger," Regina mocked.

"It's true!" Emma laughed. "But with our son, it was different." Emma's smile changed. It was smaller, but still so warm. "She put on this face for everyone else, like a warning to stay away, but with him..." Emma trailed off as she tried to find the right words. "With him, I could see really see her."

Regina wasn't sure what to say. She had listened to the Storybrooke residents talk about their false memories for almost thirty years, but what Emma was saying sounded different. She swallowed the last of what was in her glass, unsure of what to think about what Emma was saying.

"Her life had been rough, so she hid that bright part of herself to avoid getting hurt again. Not from Henry, though." Seeing both of their glasses empty, Emma poured another round from the growler. "That's the Regina I love," Emma told her. "That kind person who just wanted to be happy."

"And were you," Regina started. "Happy, I mean. Were you happy?" She said the words carefully as her throat started to tighten. There was an unmistakably warm look in the blonde's eyes as she spoke. No one had ever described her this way.

"Yeah," Emma said with complete certainty. "The years we had as the three of us were perfect." She swirled the liquid in her glass. "Sometimes it doesn't even feel real." She stared into the liquid like it might tell her whether her memories were real. "She was real, though," Emma stated. "Sometimes this life without her feel like a dream or a hallucination, but remembering her keeps me grounded. It reminds me that I can be happy and that I can be better for Henry."

"That's really lovely," Regina said trying not to let her voice shake.

Emma seemed to not hear her. "She was really one of a kind. I don't think anyone could really know me quite like her." She turned to face the window above the sink. "It was really nice to have someone who really saw me, you know?"

"Mhmm," Regina managed. None of this sounded like false memories. Regina had initially assumed that the false memories included her because of how much Henry loved her, but Emma's description made her second-guess that explanation.

Emma look at the clock above the stove. "Wow, I really went off for a while!"

"Seemed like you needed to get it off your chest," Regina reassured her. The fuzzy warmth from the cider started to creep over her. Part of her was screaming to leave, to not potentially cause more damage than she already had. However, part of her was intrigued by this uninhibited side of Emma and she wanted to see more. The Emma that she had known in Storybrooke always seemed to be struggling between sympathizing with her and seeing her as an enemy. Without the complexity of their history, Regina was now seeing a side of Emma that she'd kept hidden. With the cider clouding her judgment, the part of Regina that wanted to stay was winning.

Regina stayed and listened to Emma until they had polished off the entire growler. She learned that Emma and Henry's false memories really were happy. Henry had both of his mothers—something that clearly meant more to him than Regina had realized—and Emma had a partner who had loved her fully and unconditionally. Emma told her about the memories she had of camping trips and caring for Henry when he was sick—all memories that had originally belonged to Regina. Hearing Emma's version of the events made Regina's heart ache for her old life with Henry. After all of the drinking, Regina's composure started to wane and a small tear fell from the corner of her eye.

"Oh no! I'm sorry. Is it something I said?" Emma asked, wrapping her arm around Regina. She'd been a couple drinks ahead of Regina all night, and the lack of inhibition was showing.

"It's fine," Regina told her, unsuccessfully trying to shrug off Emma's arm. "It just reminded me of my son." Regina wiped the tear from her cheek and took a breath. Emma's arm was warm on her shoulder. It felt stabilizing, as though Regina could finally release the loss she'd felt since she watched Henry disappear across the town line. She wanted so badly to lean into Emma and feel supported. Regina had been holding herself together alone for so long.

"If he was anything like my kid, he would want you to be happy," Emma told her, beginning to slur some of her words together. "He always loved making his mom smile." She rubbed Regina's shoulder softly. The motion was almost automatic, like she'd comforted Regina this was many times before.

The gesture had the desired effect. Regina felt her breathing slow, and she leaned into Emma's shoulder.

"You know, my kid has this book that he thinks I don't know about," Emma started to explain. "I think my wife gave it to him a few years back or something. It has all these stories in it that are like screwed up versions of classic stories." Emma chuckled a bit as she thought about the stories. "I read some of it a couple of weeks ago after he went to bed. It's got this picture in it of this princess smiling at her fiancé, and I swear it looks just like her. She always looked the most like herself when she was smiling."

Emma continued to rub soothing circles along the outside of Regina's arm. Regina could feel her eyes becoming heavy as she breathed in the scent of Emma's conditioner. She tried desperately to keep her eyes open, but it had been ages since she had felt so at ease. She wasn't quite ready to move away.

"I think he's been hiding the book from me because he's worried that seeing her face will hurt me." Emma sound oddly proud of Henry's effort. "He's so thoughtful. He definitely doesn't get that from me."

"He doesn't get it—," Regina stoped herself. She tensed for a moment, shocked at what she had almost said. Emma didn't seem to notice as she continued tracing circles on Regina's arm. "I mean, you should give yourself more credit," she managed.

"Mmm," Emma responded, smiling to herself. She leaned toward the window, her eyes sparkling as she saw the full moon in the sky. "C'mon," Emma told her, tugging Regina along gently. "I wanna show you something." Emma pulled her blanket from the couch and tucked it under her arm as she led Regina toward the door.

Regina followed Emma's lead and put on her coat and shoes. She would leave after this, she told herself. She needed to get home before she said or did something that might unravel Emma's false memories.

Emma led Regina to the elevator and pushed the button for the top floor. They leaned into one another, realizing that they were both a bit unsteady on their feet. The elevator bounced slightly as it reached the top, making Regina brace herself against the nearest wall. Emma looped her arm around Regina's waist, stabilizing her, and pulled her along as she got off the elevator.

"Almost there," Emma told her excitedly. She led Regina through the roof-access door and across the vacant rooftop. As they reached the center of the roof, Emma plopped down onto the ground. "C'mon," she slurred, patting the ground next to her.

Regina sat next to Emma, who immediately wrapped the blanket around them both. Emma tugged Regina backward so that they were laying on their backs and staring up toward the sky. Because they were in the center of the rooftop, the edges of the roof blocked some of the bright lights from the city below. The stars appeared dimmer than they would elsewhere, but the moon seemed to gleam at them with an undeserved confidence.

"I come up here on all the full moons," Emma told her, wriggling a bit as she found a comfortable position. "You can't get a good view of the stars here, but the moon is always so bright when it's full. Way brighter than I remember it being in Boston."

Regina hummed in agreement.

Emma smiled sweetly as she looked up at the moon. "My wife told me once that we could do anything together," Emma told her. "She said we could even move the moon if we wanted." Emma laughed lightly at the suggestion.

Without thinking, Regina curled into Emma's side. As much as Emma and Henry seemed to miss this fictional Regina, the memories did seem to make them happy. Maybe there wasn't a flaw in the memory spell, she wondered. Maybe this was simply the past that made them both happiest.

Regina was about to laugh at herself for assuming that Emma and Henry's happiest life would have included her, when Emma tucked her arm under Regina's head. She felt herself melt into the embrace. Even though she knew she should leave, Regina couldn't help but feel as though she was right where she ought to be. Her eyelids began to slide closed as she lost the battle against unconsciousness.

* * *

The chill in the fall breeze brushed across the edge of Regina's cheek. The sun was just peeking over the skyline, casting long beams of orange light through the translucent early morning clouds. The air was crisp, still clinging to the last hints of night.

Regina's eyes were reluctant to open. She could feel the cold air threatening the cocoon of warmth in which she found herself, and she wanted to hold onto her comfort for a few moments longer. There was a nagging in the back of her mind that told her she shouldn't be here, but it was drowned out by lingering dreams. She hadn't slept this well in ages.

Slowly, she became aware of her surroundings. She could smell the dampness of early morning city as vendors sprayed down the walkways. The chorus of honking began to build, echoing off of the buildings and traveling up to her ears. Birds had started to busy themselves on a nearby ledge. Despite the stubborn grogginess that was clouding her mind, it started to register that she was still on the roof of Emma's building.

Her eyes snapped open as she heard Emma let out a breath. She realized that the warmth she felt wasn't entirely from the thick blanket wrapped around her, but also from the person whose limbs she was tangled in. Regina's cheek rested on Emma's shoulder and her arms were wound around Emma's back. She could feel the rough texture of Emma's coat on her palms, daring her to move and wake the other woman. Emma was hugging Regina around her shoulders; her grasp was gentle, giving Regina space to move, while also being tight enough to show that Emma wouldn't easily let go. Their legs were lost in the blanket, tangled around each other and the fabric. Regina's head was tucked under Emma's chin, so she couldn't see if the blond woman was awake yet, but her even breathing suggested that she was still in a deep sleep.

Regina saw the bright orange and red of the early morning sky. Snow always woke around this time to watch Emma and Henry in the mirror—she was going to horrify her stepdaughter if she didn't move soon.

The sunlight sent off ripples of sharp pain behind Regina's eyes. She had been more intoxicated the previous night than she realized. Her throat and mouth were dry, clinging together as she tried to swallow. Emma had drunk more than her, and Regina was sure that her waking would be even more uncomfortable.

What was she doing? Consciousness snapped into place with sudden urgency. She shouldn't be here. This wasn't the plan. This was so far from the plan. Every second she spent around Emma threatened to unravel her and Henry's sanity. Her drunk mind had entertained that the memory spell was fine, that Henry and Emma might be happiest remembering a life with her in it. Her sober mind, ripe with freshly agitated insecurity, rejected the possibility. Even if it were true—which she seriously doubted—the risk of leaving them with a potentially faulty set of memories was simply too high. As she felt Emma's warm arms around her shoulders, she reminded herself that she needed to be erased from their minds for their own safety.

"Mmph," Emma released as she tucked her chin and rested her cheek on Regina's forehead. Her eyes fluttered open, not wanting to accept the sunlight. She pushed herself up, releasing Regina in the process.

Regina let her arms fall, accepting that this moment of comfort had come to an end. She wanted to see more of this Emma, the one who wasn't the savior or who hadn't seen her as a fairy tale villain. There were no impending tragedies threatening everyone they loved. No battle over their shared son. It was just Emma. She couldn't, though, she reminded herself. If she wanted to let Emma and Henry keep this life, she had to remove herself from it.

"I need food," Emma declared through a yawn. She stretched her arms above her head, casting long elegant shadows across the rooftop. "C'mon, I know a good place." Emma started to stand but stopped for a moment. "Mmm...I need to grab some aspirin on the way."

Emma led Regina through the narrow side streets to a small diner. They passed several bakeries and restaurants along the twenty or so minute walk. Given how both of their heads and stomachs were screaming after their night of drinking, Regina was perplexed as to why Emma insisted that they go to this specific diner.

The bell on the door rang as they entered, setting off explosive splinters of pain from Regina's temples. She saw Emma wince in the same manner—at least she wasn't alone in the consequences of their irresponsible behavior.

As the pain subsided, she was able to take in the sight of the diner. It wasn't an exact replica of Granny's, but it was close. The interior was narrower, with fewer tables between the counter and the booths. The tables and seating were more worn, in part from being made of less durable material. Regina secretly applauded herself for some of the choices she'd made in her curse. As much as she had disliked Granny and Ruby, she was above condemning them to thin vinyl that was only a half-step away from tarp.

The smell of burnt coffee taunted her senses as Emma led her further inward toward one of the booths. They were sitting in a booth that was in the same spot as the one they both often chose when having meals with Henry at Granny's. As she slid on the side opposite of Emma, she noted the worn and slightly discolored wallpaper. It was a plain white with a dark halo around the edges. The faint smell of cigarettes occasionally escaped the aging walls, giving away that this diner had been operating before non-smoking laws were put in place. It definitely didn't have the same atmosphere as Granny's, but Regina could still see the uncanny resemblance that Emma might be unconsciously responding to.

"Okay, so I know it looks a little rough," Emma told her, responding to the face Regina didn't realize she was making. "They make a great breakfast, though." Emma pulled two menus out from behind the napkin dispenser. "I know the menu brags about their lasagna, but trust me, it's disappointing."

"I don't think I could stomach lasagna right now, anyway," Regina told her half-jokingly.

"It's on me, by the way," Emma told her.

"Oh, no. I couldn't impose like that," Regina said, trying to resist Emma's offer.

"Nah, you were polite enough to listen to me drunkenly talk about my dead wife all night. Breakfast is really the least I can do." Emma gave her a relaxed smile. She didn't mention their night of sleeping on the roof, and Regina suspected that they weren't going to acknowledge it.

"It was no problem. I don't know anyone around here yet, so it was nice to have some company for once." She immediately regretted her admission. Her hangover was making her much less careful.

"So, I would recommend the apple pancakes," Emma told her, reaching over the table and pointing to one of the menu options. The entry only said 'pancakes,' with no indication that apples could be added. "When Henry and I first moved, we used to come here all the time. Henry saw that they had apple pie and convinced the cook to put some of the apples in his pancakes." Emma chuckled at the memory. "The cook kind of hates when we order it, but Henry pulled the dead mom card to convince him to make it."

Regina didn't need to ask what Emma meant. She had always ordered apple pancakes when she and Henry had their weekly breakfast at Granny's. It was another memory of her that had bled through.

Emma notes Regina's silence. "Hey, I'm sorry I dumped all of my baggage on you last night," Emma told her, leaning forward slightly to try and catch Regina's eye. "I haven't talked about her that much since we moved. Not even in therapy." She leaned back and crossed her arms, feeling more vulnerable now than she had the night before. "It's weird. It's like I can't focus on my memories of her. I swear I almost forgot her name the other day."

Regina was perplexed by Emma's description. It sounded like the spell had worked, for the most part. The memories were of a life that had made them both happy, they weren't able to focus on them—a feature that was meant to prevent the spell from failing—and they covered any potential leaks from their actual memories by incorporating them into the false narrative. However, Emma seemed to be pulling at the frayed edges of her memories. It didn't make sense.

When she and Blue were trying to figure out why the spell seemed to be failing, they had surmised that it was Henry's bond with Regina that caused the spell to insert her into the new memories. Perhaps Emma had started examining her memories because they suited Henry, but not her? It hurt to consider that possibility now. The way Emma had spoken about her the night before made Regina jealous of her fictional self. She wanted so badly to be seen the way Emma saw her in the false memories.

Regina pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind. She needed to get through breakfast and focus on fixing the memory spell for Henry and Emma. "Does Henry talk about her much?" Regina asked. She needed to know if Henry had also started to question his memories.

"Not until recently," Emma admitted. "He seemed to adjust really well after we moved. He's always looking at that picture in his book, though, when he thinks I can't see him. So he might just be holding back for my benefit." Emma put the menu back behind the napkin dispenser and slid her coffee cup to the edge of the table, signaling that she was ready to order.

The server collected their orders. Regina followed Emma's recommendation and ordered the apple pancakes. The server rolled her eyes at Emma as she turned to leave, clearly annoyed by the customization. Emma pulled her fresh cup of coffee to her mouth, sighing as she swallowed her first sip.

"It's terrible coffee, by the way," she told Regina. "It serves its purpose, though," she explained, taking another gulp and wincing slightly as the coffee lingered a bit too long on her tongue.

Regina sipped her coffee, trying to swallow it before she could actually taste it. She held the cup with her palms, letting it warm her hands.

Emma seemed to want to say something, but she was holding it back. Regina had a hunch about what Emma was hiding, and she was somewhat relieved to see that Emma's mind was fighting to bury it. Just as she was about to relax, though, Emma leaned forward as though bracing herself before dropping more information on Regina.

"You look so much like her," Emma said. Regina's stomach dropped. She was definitely making the situation worse by staying around Emma. "Sorry," Emma blurted. "That was a weird thing to say."

"It's alright," Regina reassured her. It wasn't, but Regina didn't know what to say.

The server came with their orders and the two women ate in silence, the awkwardness of Emma's admission hanging in the air between them. Emma was worried that she might be forcing the identity of her wife on a complete stranger, while Regina was terrified that Emma might actually remember her.

As they finished their meals, Emma started to panic about whether she had pushed Regina away. This was the first person in months, other than Henry, who had made her feel completely comfortable. She didn't want Regina to walk out of her life because of her slip up.

"Listen, I'm sorry I compared you to my wife, that was weird," Emma told her, pulling her arms back into her chest. Regina could see Emma's guard going up, preparing to be rejected. She had seen these mannerisms before in Emma's interactions in Storybrooke, but only now did she fully understand what they meant. This was they Emma that she recognized, the one who was always quietly waiting to be rejected by those around her. Knowing that she was here, without the family that she had spent her whole life seeking, Regina couldn't stomach the thought of telling Emma to stay away. She couldn't be another person who fed into Emma's rejection narrative.

"It's okay," Regina told her. The response was genuine, and her shoulders dropped comfortably as she said it.

Emma was only partly convinced by Regina's response. She checked her phone to see if she had any new messages from Henry before continuing. "I've had a harder time than Henry making connections here," she admitted. "You're, I dunno...you're easy to talk to," Emma told her, scratching at the hair on the back of her head in frustration.

Regina almost laughed, but trained her expression so as not to insult or concern Emma. No one had ever told her that she was easy to talk to. Regina was typically told that she was difficult, even by the people who were closest to her.

Emma didn't continue speaking. She was looking down at the table, waiting for Regina to react.

"We should do this again sometime," Regina told her. She reached her hand out and placed it softly on top of Emma's. "Maybe without the cider," she joked.

"Yeah?" Emma asked hopefully. "Here why don't you give me your number so we can plan something?" She slid her phone toward Regina.

This was a complication she hadn't expected. The spell she had used to create her life in New York had also given her the same phone number she'd had in Storybrooke—a selfish move on her part so that she could see the pictures of Henry's life that Emma occasionally sent.

"I, um, haven't gotten around to getting a new cellphone just yet." It wasn't a convincing lie. Even if Emma couldn't expertly catch Regina's lies, she probably still would have known that it was a lie. "I have a landline though!" Regina grabbed the phone and entered the number quickly, stopping Emma from falling back into her rejection worries.

Just as she was preparing to slide Emma's phone back to her, it buzzed with a new message from Henry. His name and picture flashed across the top of the screen, and it took all of Regina's self-control to give the phone back to Emma.

"Ah, there he is," Emma smiled as she swiped open the message. "I gotta run and meet my kid, but I'll call you later, okay?" Emma put the cash for the bill on the table and waived to Regina before turning her attention back to her phone.

As she watched Emma disappear as she passed the edge of the front window, Regina grappled with the reminder that, no matter how pleasant the previous night had been, she was no longer a part of Henry and Emma's lives.


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, everything in my life got crazy for a few weeks, but I'm finally getting back to the updates!**

**I do not own OUAT or any of its characters.**

* * *

Chapter 3

Regina slept for the rest of the day once she returned to her apartment. She was staying in Neal's old apartment—not her first choice of accommodation. Neal had paid off the apartment the apartment in advance shortly before Henry and Emma had found him in New York. It was supposed to be a grand gesture to Tamara showing that he was willing to put down roots for her. Of course, none of that had worked out and the apartment had sat vacant for the better part of a year. The pre-paid lease was up in a few months, just enough time for Regina to fix the memory spell and then come up with a more permanent plan for her new life. She chose to occupy Neal's old apartment in part because of convenience, but also because she wouldn't feel compelled to stay for any longer than she had to.

She had done her best to clean the space—something she suspected that Neal didn't often do—but no amount of effort seemed to make it look welcoming. Everything about the space seemed to scream, "don't stay here."

In the corner of the main room, adjacent to the only window, was a large mirror with a blanket thrown over it. It was one of only a few objects that Regina had brought with her.

She rolled onto her back on the lumpy mattress, trying to ignore the alarm sounding on her cell phone. She wasn't quite ready to face the scolding that she knew was coming.

"I can hear your alarm, Regina," Snow's muffled yelling sounded from the blanketed mirror. "I know you're there."

As much as Regina had put their previous conflict behind her, she still found Snow to be perhaps the most aggravating person she'd ever known. She turned off the alarm and walked to the bathroom. She dragged her fingers through her hair and touched up her leftover makeup from the night before. Not her typical flawless appearance, but it would have to do, she told herself as she took one last look in the bathroom mirror.

She walked back to the enchanted mirror, letting out a long sigh before removing the covering. "Snow," Regina said as a neutral greeting. To her surprise, she saw the Charming and the Blue Fairy has joined Snow for this meeting.

"Regina, what happened?!" Snow was beside herself. "You agreed to fix the spell and then leave!"

"I didn't realize Henry would be gone," Regina told them. It wasn't a lie, but it also didn't explain why Regina had spent the night on the roof with Emma. Regina wasn't sure how much of the encounter Snow had seen, though.

"Why were you sleeping with her this morning, Regina?" So Snow had seen most of it, Regina concluded.

"We had been drinking, Snow. Besides, last night gave me a chance to understand the extent to which the spell was failing." This was also true, but still didn't answer Snow's question.

"Regina, we talked about this before you left," Blue said as she inserted herself into the conversation. "You need to avoid as much interaction with Emma and Henry as possible."

"I know," Regina said, her tone admitting the error in her actions.

"Every second you spend with them is another step closer to irreparable damage." Blue's tone was edging on accusatory.

Charming was unusually quiet. He seemed to be trying to decide whether Regina's actions were malicious or something else. "How is she?" he asked, more gently than Regina had expected.

"Other than missing a wife she never had, she seems happy. She and Henry have a good life here." Regina searched for the words to describe how Emma seemed in her new life. "She seems more relaxed than she was in Storybrooke. She clearly feels like something is missing, but she doesn't have the same chip on her shoulder that she had when she first came to town."

"She has Henry, now," Snow offered. "Being together, as a family, is everything."

Regina bit her tongue at Snow's comment. She knew that Snow didn't mean any ill intent, but the comment still stung. They all knew that Regina was here preparing to permanently sever all connections to her son, so she had hoped that Snow might be a bit more cognizant of that.

Charming sighed, as he saw Regina tense up at Snow's comment. "I know this is hard for you Regina—"

"No, you really don't," she muttered. She wrapped her arms around her waist, but quickly released them. Being vulnerable in front of the Charmings was still hard for her.

"You're right," he admitted. "I don't know that I could go through with it if I were in your position." His hand reached out, almost as though he intended to comfort her through the mirror. It was a small movement, his fingers barely rising above his waist, but recognition of the weight of Regina's task was evident.

"You'll be able to start a new life for yourself after this task, Regina," Blue told her. Sometimes Regina thought that Blue didn't fully understand human emotions. Forgetting her son—the person who had brought the most happiness into her life—was not a reward to her; it was a nightmare. The only consolation was that forgetting Henry would be slightly less awful than living in a world where she remembered he didn't know her.

"Did you learn anything, Regina?" Snow asked, trying to reengage her in the conversation.

"Yes," she said as she turned to grab something off of the kitchen table. "I found this in Henry's bag." She lifted up the storybook so that they could see it.

"I—I thought you said it was destroyed along with the curse?" Snow's eyes travelled over the book's cover, perplexed by its existence.

"It was. It was in Henry's room before they drove across the town line." She tossed the book on the bed behind her. "It shouldn't exist at all." She rubbed her temple, trying to resolve the headache that was some combination of stress and hangover. "At least the pages he ripped out are still gone, so he's not going to make the connection between the stories and Emma."

"How did he even find it?" Snow asked.

"Emma said that his mom gave it to him before she died. They found it in the trunk shortly after they moved to New York." She sat down on the bed, rubbing her knees with her palms. It was perplexing how the book came to exist outside of Storybrooke. Although, if Regina really stopped to think about it, the existence of the book within Storybrooke didn't make much sense either. It seemed to serve as a rude echo of a world that touched the boundary of this one, but could never be fully realized: a place that could only exist as a fiction to the two people who, at one point, had needed it most. The book had appeared in Storybrooke 'when Henry needed it,' as Snow liked to say. What a cruel joke, she thought as she turned away from it. How cruel to remind someone of a family that existed and wanted them, but that they could never have again.

"You mean he thinks it was a gift from Emma?" Charming asked, breaking Regina from her thoughts.

"Not quite," Regina said with a sarcastic smirk.

"What do you mean? Emma never gave him up, so she would be his mom, right?" Charming asked, urging Regina to fill in whatever details he was missing.

"In their new life, Emma was married to someone who looks like me." Regina said the words carefully. Implying that she was married to their daughter would undoubtedly not go well.

"Wait," Charming stopped her from continuing. "She thinks you two are married?" His words were a mixture of annoyed and joking.

"No, Charming." She said his name with the same ring of condescension that she had used during her time as the Evil Queen. She continued, choosing her words carefully, "Emma thinks she was married to someone who looks like me. She thinks her wife died in a fire and that's why she and Henry moved to New York." She stopped to make sure the Charmings were following her explanation. "The person in her and Henry's memories seems to be a way for the spell to account for any real memories that slip through. Any of their real memories of Storybrooke are incorporated into the false memories using me as a common link."

"That doesn't explain why she thinks you were married, Regina," Blue pointed out. "You could have just been friends or colleagues."

"I was in all of Henry's childhood memories," Regina explained. "It's easy to erase someone who hasn't been in your life for very long, but it's much harder to completely erase critical figures from people's lives." She could see that they weren't buying the explanation. "It the same thing that happened with the two of you during the curse. I tried to erase the connection between you, but I couldn't completely eliminate it." She had tried, though. Even with David as a coma patient, Snow had managed to develop enough of a connection that he woke up and went looking for her.

"So how are you going to fix it now?" Snow asked.

"I need to take the memories of me away." The words stuck in her throat. "It's more complicated and it takes more magic than I was able to gather as the curse was being destroyed." She swallowed hard, not sure she wanted to continue explaining. "This way the old memories won't be able to upset the new memories." She looked down at her hands. "There won't be any memories of me, or of any of us. There will be nothing to bleed through."

Regina had explained most of this to them before she left. In case anything changed and they could get back to Emma and Henry, Snow had insisted that they not destroy all of their old memories. Even though Blue and Regina had both explained that they could never get back to Storybrooke, so it was safest to completely destroy the memories, Snow still held out hope that she might reunite with her daughter someday. Regina found her reliance on hope infuriating, but also secretly admired it—especially since she also secretly hoped for an opportunity to safely reunite with her son. In the end, they had agreed to only use that option if none of the others were viable.

"It's the only way to ensure that they'll be safe," Regina said quietly. Her heart sank as the words tumbled out. This was the first time she had admitted her plan aloud. The words hung in the air around her, finally becoming real.

Snow was at a loss for words, as was Charming. They looked at one another and at Blue, trying to find any reason to believe that there was another way.

"I need to speak to Regina alone for a moment," Blue told Snow kindly. She didn't really need to talk to Regina about anything that Snow or Charming couldn't hear, but she knew that the monarchs were in too great a state of shock to continue.

The Charmings shuffled out of the room, trying their best to process the information they'd just learned. As soon as they closed the door, Blue turned back to Regina.

"You realize that if Henry's connection to you was too strong for the initial memory spell, the same might be true for you." Her tone was kinder than Regina had expected. "You don't have enough magic to erase your own memories of him."

"I know," Regina admitted.

They sat in silence on their respective sides of the mirror as the reality of Regina's future sunk in. Blue had spent years hating Regina and her counterparts, but in this moment, she wanted nothing more than to be able to offer some resolution.

* * *

Emma hadn't seen Regina in person since the night they spent on the roof several weeks earlier. She called her a few times a week, but they could never seem to make plans to meet in person. If not for how relieved Regina always sounded on the phone when Emma called, she would assume that Regina was dodging her.

A few times a week, Emma would call Regina after Henry had gone to bed. They talked about various frustrations of living in New York, funny experiences, or just venting after a particularly hard day. Sometimes Emma would talk about her old life in Boston, but she could never get Regina to say more than two words about her past. She was a mystery to Emma, while still feeling completely familiar. Regardless, it was comforting to have Regina to lean on.

Emma sat in front of Henry's school, ready to start the weekend with him as soon as his class let out. The traffic on the way there was lighter than expected, so she would be waiting for another fifteen minutes or so. She could see into the classroom windows and tried to spot Henry in class. As she scanned for her son, her eyes stopped on the familiar sight of Regina, who was motioning toward something on the chalkboard behind her.

Emma couldn't shake the notion that Regina looked identical to her late wife. She even dressed the same. Regina loved form-fitted dresses in dark colors. Emma almost never saw her wear bright patterns or jeans. The clothes suited her, though. She took care of herself, almost seeming to not age over the decade that Emma was with her.

Regina waived her arm confidently while explaining a concept, and the gesture reminded Emma of something she'd seen her wife do before, but she couldn't place what it was. As she concentrated, trying to take hold of the memory she wanted, her head erupted with pain. It was blinding. Emma doubled over, not even noticing when her forehead collided with the horn. The sound of the horn and the feeling of the hard plastic against her skin barely registered before she blacked out.

* * *

Emma awoke in a hospital bed sometime later. The lights felt too bright and the air felt cold and stale. There was a dull pain coming from her forehead. As she reached up to touch the area, she felt the distinct scratchy texture of medical tape and gauze. Slowly, she started to remember hitting her head on the steering wheel.

She sat up quickly, startled by her new surroundings. Regina was asleep in the chair next to her and Henry was asleep on a cot on the opposite side of her bed. For a moment, she almost believed she was back in Boston.

"Emma," Regina said with relief. She leaned forward in her chair so that she was closer to Emma. Keeping her voice down so as not to wake Henry, Regina asked, "Do you remember what happened? Are you okay?" She fought the urge to reach out and touch Emma's hair. On some level, she already knew that Emma hadn't had a seizure as the doctor had suggested, but she held out hope that she was wrong.

"Yeah," Emma smiled at her through her grogginess. "I'm good."

"I saw you through the window. You were covered in blood when I got to you." Her words were rapid fire and panicked.

"Yeah, I got this headache," Emma tried to explain. "I was watching the classes while I waited for Henry and it was like something clicked in my head." She squinted against the brightness of the room, willing herself out of her groggy state.

"Clicked?" Regina asked.

"Yeah." Emma leaned back against the pillows. "Like I remembered something and then I just...shut down." Trying to remember what it was that triggered the episode made her head feel like it was on fire. She winced as the pain started to flow through her head.

"Emma?" Regina stood, ready to run for a nurse. "Emma, look at me."

"I can't remember what it was," Emma said, opening her eyes and giving up on the memory for now. She didn't have the energy to keep pressing it.

"Don't push yourself, Emma. Just take it slow." She put her hand on Emma's shoulder, a gesture that she regretted, but that seemed to comfort Emma. Regina had a good guess about what had triggered Emma's blackout. She had been watching the classes through the window. She must have seen Regina do something that triggered an irreconcilable memory. She took comfort in the fact that Emma's mind had locked the memory back, but this event also signaled that her presence could trigger more than just the false memories put in place by the spell. She knew this would happen eventually, so she had tried to stay away while she made preparations to erase Emma and Henry's old memories. Clearly, that was not enough.

"Henry's friend and his mom are coming to get him soon," Regina explained as Emma looked over at her sleeping son. "He didn't want to leave until he knew you were okay."

"I'm guessing he wouldn't take no for an answer when you told him to go home?" Emma smiled as she turned back to Regina. "He gets that from his other mom."

Regina smiled at the sentiment, in part because she knew it was true. "They don't want to release you until tomorrow," Regina changed the subject, not wanting to dwell on Emma's memories so soon after her blackout. "Your vitals are normal and there are no signs of brain trauma, but they want to keep you over night to make sure that doesn't change."

"Great," Emma sighed. She never liked hospitals.

Henry was picked up by Avery and his mom not long after Emma woke up. Regina managed to be out of the room while Henry was awake, not sure how he would respond to her presence. She returned as soon as she saw Henry disappear into the elevator.

"Can I call anyone for you or get you anything?" Regina needed to leave. She needed to finish prepping the materials for erasing their memories, especially now that there was evidence that the faulty spell might be hurting Emma.

"What? Anxious to get away from me?" Emma joked.

"Not at all," Regina smiled back at her. It wasn't a complete lie, as she did want to stay near Emma. Regina wanted so badly to know what memories Emma had of her. As much as she tried to convince herself that the woman Emma remembered was a complete fiction, the time she had spent talking to her made her wonder what it would have been like to meet Emma without the complications of their old life. Without the curse and her feud with Snow White. Without the threat that Emma might take her whole world away from her. In those circumstances, maybe they would have been closer. Maybe Emma's false memories weren't such a stretch.

She pushed the thoughts out of her mind. She couldn't give into the temptation to stay in Henry's and Emma's lives. They could be happy and safe without her, away from the risk of their minds unraveling.

"What's up?" Emma asked, noticing the struggle playing out across Regina's face.

"Nothing," she lied as she relaxed back into her chair. She smiled at Emma, trying her best to mask the conflict in her mind.

"You know," Emma started, her tone friendly but direct. "When you lie, you always try to express the opposite of what you're actually feeling." Emma gave a cocky smile as she noticed Regina tense up. "I can always tell when you're lying, Regina."

"Oh really?" Regina tried to sound lighthearted, but it came off a bit more bitter than intended. "And all this insight after only the one night of seeing me in person. That is impressive, Miss Swan."

Emma hissed and grabbed her head. Something bubbled to the surface of her consciousness, too hot and too bright. She wanted to stare into it, though, grasping at the too familiar threads that hung at the edges. Some part of her, deep beneath her awareness, reached for it as though it were the only light in an endless fog. It felt real. It felt more real than anything else in her life. What was it, though?

As she tried to focus on the thoughts racing through her mind, she failed to notice that she was screaming. Emma's muscles had seized, pulling her into a tight ball atop her bed as she released a horrible wail between her tucked knees.

Regina ran and for help, returning to the room with several nurses. The doctor arrived minutes later, instructing the nurses on where to bring Emma for further tests. Emma was awake but unable to respond as her whole body tensed in response the pain in her head. The doctor administered a sedative just as Emma was wheeled out of the room.

Regina slumped against the wall once the hospital personnel were gone. She slid down to the floor, resting her head on her knees and clutching her hair in her hands. This had been her fault. She was sure of it now. She'd called Emma "Miss Swan," a name that only Regina had used to refer to Emma while she was in Storybrooke. Not referring to her by her first name had allowed Regina to keep Emma at arms length emotionally, something Emma's fictional wife probably didn't do.

* * *

Regina ran home to gather supplies for the memory spell. It involved using dream catchers to capture memories, but they were markedly more difficult to make without magic. Moreover, she had to use her limited ration of fairy dust to properly enchant them. The dust was the only raw magic she had; using it improperly could mean not having enough magic to perform the spell.

Emma had told her before that she hated hospitals, so Regina didn't want her to be alone when she came to. She knew, though, that she couldn't be there when Emma woke up. She needed to finish preparations for the spell. She needed to finish and to get away before she broke her family beyond repair.

"Regina?" Blue called from the other side of the mirror. She had forgotten to put the cover on before she left, and she shouldn't be surprised that Blue would be the one to catch her at such a weak moment. "Regina, what's wrong?"

She took a breath as she put the materials she'd gathered on the table. Her hands were shaking. Though she didn't want to admit it, she was in no shape to work on such a delicate task.

"Regina?" Blue called out again.

"She's remembering," Regina finally said with her back to the mirror. "It's hurting her." She could hide her shaking hands, but her voice still gave away her fear. "I need to finish."

Blue listened silently to Regina's frantic explanation. She'd never seen Regina like this. The Evil Queen, despite her notorious temper, was always very controlled. Blue had never seen her show fear, not even when she was about to be executed.

"You can't rush this, Regina," she told her.

"I know." The words were quiet, barely even a whisper. Regina turned to face the mirror. "This is my fault."

"It's not your fault that the spell relied so heavily on Henry's memory of you, Regina." Blue was surprised to hear the words come out of her own mouth. Comforting the Evil Queen wasn't something she had ever expected to be doing. "The spell you cast was the best you could do at the time. It would have been far worse if you had not cast the spell."

"No," Regina interrupted. "It's things I'm saying and doing around her. The memories are getting triggered by me and it's hurting her." She covered her mouth in an attempt to keep her fear from spilling out. "I can't be around them, anymore." Her shoulders started to tremble at the realization.

There was nothing Blue could do for her. Even reassuring her that she'd done her best wouldn't erase the danger that Emma was in now. "I know this is hard for you, Regina." The words sounded sincere, which surprised them both.

Regina pulled out her phone. She'd given herself enough savings to live comfortably for a while, even without her teaching job. Being at Henry's school was just another opportunity to trigger their memories, and it was a risk she wasn't willing to take. She finished typing the email and hit send before tossing the phone down on the bed.

"What did you do?" Blue asked.

"I resigned from working at Henry's school." She calmed herself before continuing. "I can't be near them. It's too risky."

Blue understood what Regina was doing. She agreed that it was the right choice, given the danger she posed to Emma's and Henry's well being. However, she'd watched Emma with Snow for quite a while now. Regina was clearly important to Emma. Removing Regina's support would still have consequences.

"I can let you know how they're doing," she offered.

Regina gave a small nod. Accepting that the last time she'd see Henry and Emma in person would be when she was ready to wipe their memories. She no longer had the option of simply patching the existing spell. She was going to have to remove herself from their minds completely. It was the only way to guarantee that they would be safe.


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, so this chapter is a little shorter, but the next one should be coming along shortly!**

**I do not own OUAT or any of its characters.**

* * *

Chapter 4

Emma woke up in her own bed a few days after being released from the hospital. She had taken some time off work as per her doctor's request. None of the tests were conclusive, so she was instructed to "take it easy" for the time being.

She tried to call Regina after she got home, but the line was disconnected. When she had asked Henry if he'd seen her, he told her that Regina wasn't working at the school anymore. It was like she was disappearing from their lives.

Emma walked into the living room and picked up her phone. It was 11am and Henry had already left for school. She scrolled through her calendar, pretending to make a note of her schedule. The only thing she had scheduled for the whole week was her therapy session that afternoon.

She opened up the messages she'd sent to her wife's number. She hadn't sent a message since she started talking to Regina. She was suddenly gripped with worry that she had been replacing her wife with Regina and that it might have been too much for her.

It was odd though, she thought to herself. As much as Regina looked like her wife, she didn't see them as the same. Regina was a very different person than the one in Emma's memories. Their conversations were easy, their connection felt so immediate. Emma's past led her to be distrusting of most people, but Regina didn't arouse any of those sentiments. Even now, when Regina seemed to have vanished, Emma didn't jump to the conclusion that Regina had rejected her. The last memory she had of her was Regina running for help. She could hear the fear in her voice as she ran out the door, and the look in her eyes when she brought the nurses back to the room. Regina cared about her. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, though.

She couldn't shake this feeling that there was more behind Regina's words and actions than she'd let on. It felt like they had a whole history together despite having only met very recently.

Emma tried to remember if she'd felt the same way with her wife. When she tried to recall their early interactions, or what made them fall in love, she couldn't find anything specific. She had been Henry's foster parent. Had she met Regina when she went to get her son?

Her head started to throb as she saw the image of Regina standing on her porch and inviting in her home for a drink. Did they meet that way? It didn't look like anywhere she'd seen in Phoenix, and she'd met Regina in Phoenix, right? The pain in her head started to intensify, as though it was warning her to stop.

She thought about what she'd told Regina, that her wife said they could move the moon together. When did she say that? Emma felt a pop at the back of her head as the image of her and Regina moving the moon filled her mind.

Suddenly she felt very wrong. There was ringing in her ears and she was seeing double. Her head felt like it was burning from the inside. She tried to stand, but immediately fell.

She tried to remember who she was. Her name was Emma Swan, and she lives with her family in Maine—no she lived in New York with Henry. She had memories of parents, though. They were the same age as her—no, that didn't make sense. She'd never met her parents. But she had, when she lived in Maine.

The burning in her head reached a climax and Emma blacked out.

* * *

Regina walked through the park getting some much needed fresh air. She had finished the final preparations for the memory spell. She kept the dream catchers in her purse and the fairy dust was in a vial around her neck. She planned to go to Emma's apartment that night after Henry was asleep. She could use the remaining fairy dust to keep them both knocked out long enough to complete the spell. For the moment, though, she didn't want to spend any part of her last day in New York inside Neal's terrible apartment.

She stopped to sit on a bench near a small pond. There were high bushes around the edges of the water, giving her the illusion of privacy. She breathed in the air, trying to commit her last day in the city to memory. New York was a huge city, and she was certain that she could live there for ages and never run into Henry and Emma. It was still too big of a risk in her mind, though. She needed to put distance between herself and her family. Distance would ensure no accidental meetings and it would keep her from giving into temptation and seeking them out.

The water in front of her was still, perfectly reflecting the sky above. The leaves had changed too quickly this year, going from green to brown in a matter of days and leaving the trees looking rather grim. Even after they had browned, though, Regina loved the sight and smell of leaves. It could have been the years she spent in the Enchanted Forest, where all but a few areas of farmland were covered in trees. It could also have been the years she spent in Storybrooke, where the forest was never more than a block away.

Living in a place like New York, after spending so much of her life near forest, felt alien to her. The buildings and the crowds were overwhelming. Even though she was almost constantly surrounded by people, it only served to make her feel even more alone. The last thing she needed after tonight was another reminder that she was alone.

She pulled out her phone and scrolled through the messages from Emma. She had thought about leaving the phone behind, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. The pictures of Henry and Emma smiling back at her were precious.

Regina shuddered as she saw someone jump the bench and land in the seat next to her.

"Sorry," Henry said as he leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"Henry?" Regina didn't understand why he was here. "It's not even two o'clock! Why aren't you at school?"

"Why aren't you?" he asked back. He looked so different now, while still looking so much like the baby boy she'd brought home from the adoption agency. His voice was a bit deeper than she remembered, and he seemed more confident than the boy she'd watch disappear in the yellow Bug. Dark hair was swept to one side across his forehead, thicker than the soft child's hair she remembered stroking as she read him bedtime stories. His eyes were browner now, hiding the hints of green and hazel that had been there in his infancy. Henry's shoulder came almost to the same height as Regina's, making his eyes level with hers as he awaited a reply.

She didn't know how to respond to his question. Seeing Henry now was not what she had expected. She was so overjoyed and confused at seeing him that she forgot what he had asked. All she could think about was how much she wanted to pull him into her arms.

"I shouldn't have freaked out in class that day," he told her. His voice sounded guilty like he believed he'd actually done something wrong.

"No, Henry," Regina started. She could barely control her voice. For weeks she'd been here wanting nothing more than to be near Henry. Now that he was here, she felt the impulse to run in order to protect him.

"It's okay," he continued when Regina didn't say more. "My mom meant a lot to me, and seeing you was like seeing her ghost." He sat back on the bench, his head coming slightly higher than Regina's. "It's not fair, though. It's not fair to my mom, Emma."

Henry kicked some of the dirt at the base of the bench, considering what to say next. "You make her really happy, you know? I've never seen her smile the way she does when she talks to you. I can't remember ever seeing her like that."

Regina was frozen in her seat. Inside she was a mess of emotions that threatened to burst out if she even tried to speak.

"Just...don't stay away because of me," he told her. "I mean you don't have to. I'm okay. I just want my mom to be happy." He leaned forward to stand up. "She's home now, by the way. I think she'd like to see you."

"What do you mean?" Regina finally managed to say something. It didn't quite make sense in response to what Henry had said, but he didn't seem to mind.

"She tried calling you, but your phone was disconnected." He stood up, but didn't start walking away. "She's been bummed out since then. I told her you quit your job at the school and she got really worried." He held out his hand to help her up. "C'mon, I bet seeing you would make her day."

Regina took his hand and followed him to the apartment building. Her mind was blank, caught up in the shock of her son being so close. She knew this was the end of their time together—she felt the realization nagging at the edges of her mind. For now, though, she wanted to stay in this dream, this peaceful moment where everything she wanted was right in front of her.

* * *

Regina knew something was off as soon as they stepped off the elevator. The air felt different, almost heavy. She tried to convince herself that it was just the dread of leaving her family, but part of her knew it wasn't that.

As Henry went to unlock the door, Regina felt the hair on her neck stand on end. Her instincts told her to go in before Henry, to protect him from whatever was waiting inside.

"Wait," she told him. "Something is wrong." She gently moved him aside and stepped into the apartment. Emma was on the floor, whispering to herself. Regina grabbed the vile of fairy dust and blew part of the mixture at Henry as he started the enter the apartment. His body slumped and went limp, falling into Regina's arms. She cautiously laid him on the floor before closing the door to the apartment and locking it.

Emma had begun to crawl toward her phone in hand. She tapped the screen, clutching the device in her hand.

"You're here," she gasped. "How are you here? You died—no the curse—"

"Emma," Regina stopped her. She knelt down and gently took Emma's face in both hands. "I'm sorry Emma. I should have stayed away from both of you." She brushed Emma's cheek with her thumb. She knew Emma would never remember this apology, but she still felt like she needed to get it out. "This is my fault. Like most of the hardship in your life, I did this, too." She saw Emma's eyes focus on her face. "I want you to be happy, Emma. You and Henry make me happier than I've ever been, but every time I'm in your lives I put you in danger." Her voice remained steady, but she could feel the tears falling down her cheeks. She took a breath and continued, "so, this time I'm going to make sure that I can't put you in danger again." She saw Emma's eyes going in and out of focus, her green irises periodically disappearing as her pupils enveloped them. "Do me a favor, Miss Swan. Please be happy."

She blew the last of the fairy dust onto Emma and watched her eyes flutter shut. Regina cradled Emma's head in her arms as she reached down and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. "I love you, Miss Swan," she whispered into her hair.

After gently laying Emma's head on the floor, Regina got to work. She pulled out the first dream catcher and waived it above Emma's head. The memories were siphoned into the web of string in a golden cyclone. Regina was thorough and removed herself from all of Emma's memories, leaving no trace of her existence behind. She then removed all of Emma's memories from her time in Storybrooke. Now there was no chance of Emma ever remembering her or anyone else from the Enchanted forest. The whole process took only minutes, a short time given the extremity of what was being done.

Next, Regina moved to Henry. Whereas she managed some amount of composure when saying her goodbye to Emma, she could barely manage to say anything at all to Henry. She held her boy, her little boy, for as long as she could justify. She cried into his shoulder as she held him against her. As the light started to turn gray through windows, Regina released him. She took in his face, brushing back his hair as she had done so many times before. She kissed his forehead and then laid his head on her lap. "I love you, Henry," she said as she placed her hand on his cheek. "I'll always love you, my sweet boy. My hero. My little prince."

She repeated the memory removal process on Henry, watching images of their life together disappear into the web of string.

Before leaving, Regina put both Emma and Henry into their beds. With any luck, they would wake up the next morning thinking nothing had changed.

Regina looked at the keys for the Bug hanging from a hook near the door. She grabbed the keys on her way out. "No loose ends this time."

* * *

Regina entered the apartment for the last time. She grabbed the bag she had packed before going to the park and scanned the apartment for anything else she might need.

The dream catchers were sitting on the table. She wasn't sure whether to bring them with her or leave them behind. After some consideration, she opted to leave them. If she brought them with her, she could always consider releasing the memories and going back for Emma and Henry. Only she, Henry, and Emma could release memories, so there was no risk in leaving them behind.

Regina took one last look at the dingy apartment, before turning for the door.

"Regina?" Snow called from the mirror. "Regina, are you there?"

Regina sighed heavily. She considered just walking away, but Snow deserved more than that. She was losing part of her family, too.

"Regina what happened?" Snow asked as Regina approached the mirror.

"It's done, Snow." Regina said rigidly. Her body and mind were numb.

"I'm so sorry, Regina." Snow was tearing up as she spoke. She swallowed, remembering that there was more she needed to tell Regina. "Um, we've been looking at how to bring you back. Blue thinks that—,"

"No, Snow," Regina stopped her. "I'm not going back there."

Snow stared back in confusion. "But, you'll be stuck there all alone."

"I know," Regina admitted. "Being around Emma, the Emma who never saw me as a villain...it was very freeing. I can't have that in the Enchanted Forest. All the enemies I've made and the terrible things I've done—they put everyone around me at risk. I just...I can't do that anymore." She looked away from while she composed herself. "Besides, even if I can't be with Emma and Henry, I like knowing they're here. I like knowing that, in some small way, they're still with me." She could feel her emotions bubbling up again, and wasn't sure she had the energy to handle them now. She turned and walked to the door.

"Regina wait—," Snow started to call.

"Goodbye, Snow."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I feel very dumb. I just figured out how the chapter notes work.
> 
> So, I had it in my head that I was going to proofread and post the rest of the fic tonight. Then I realized that the end of this chapter is just over half-way through the story. I will get as much up as I can before I end up getting sucked back into work this week. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> I do not own OUAT or any of its characters.

Chapter 5

Emma stirred together eggs and milk in a glass bowl as Henry watered the plants on the window sills. His pajama pants ended just above his ankles, showing Emma that he'd grown a few more inches. Normally, Henry would be dressed for school, but on Saturdays they had a tradition of staying in their pajamas until noon. "Lazy Saturdays" they called them.

This particular Saturday, they were celebrating the reinstatement of Emma's driver's license. It had been six months since she experienced blackouts, and her doctor had given her the all clear to start driving again. She'd even gotten herself a new car after the Bug went missing, but hadn't been able to drive it yet. She went with a sleek black Benz—not her typical style, but both she and Henry had been drawn to it.

Emma listened to the hiss of the eggs in the pan and waited for pop of the toaster. She just about had her breakfast routine timing perfect. Just as she was transferring the eggs to her and Henry's plates, her phone started to buzz. It was a local area code and her phone didn't flag it as a spam risk, but she still hesitated before picking up.

"Hello?" she said cautiously.

"Is this Emma?" a man asked

"Yeah. Who is this?"

"Listen, I managed the building over on Mulberry. The rent's due for this apartment and I can't get ahold of the tenant. He had it paid off through the end of last month, but I haven't been able to get in contact with him about whether he plans to move out." The man on the other end sounded annoyed, but reasonable.

"What's the tenant's name?" she asked. She suspected that there was some kind of mistake, but she was humoring the manager—he was just doing his job.

"Neal Cassidy is on the lease, but there was also a woman living here for a few months. They left all their stuff here, which is how I got your number. It was pinned above the phone."

Emma froze. She knew exactly who Neal Cassidy was. Mulberry Street was only a block or so away. And he had her number?

"You still there?" the manager asked after Emma went silent.

"Yeah," Emma responded. "I um...I haven't seen him in years, but I'll see what I can do." She ended the call without waiting for a reply.

"Hey, mom?" Henry tried to get Emma's attention when she didn't move for almost a minute after hanging up. "Mom, your eggs are getting cold."

Emma's mind was a flurry of thoughts. Why was Neal here? How did he have her number? Was he following them? She needed to know why the man who left her to take the fall for his crimes had an apartment down the street from her own. It could be a coincidence, but Emma doubted it.

"Mom?" Henry waived his arms at her. "Earth to mom!"

"Sorry," she said, breaking out of her thoughts. "I—I need to run out for a minute. There's something I need to take care of." She stood up from the table and ran to her room to get dressed.

"Is everything okay?" Henry asked.

"Yeah," Emma told him as she rushed around the apartment picking up her keys, purse, and shoes. "Yeah, everything is fine."

"Sure, because suddenly dashing out the door on a Saturday after mysterious phone call is definitely what 'fine' looks like," Henry mocked.

"Listen, kid," Emma said as she walked over to him. "I'll explain everything when I get back. Just stay here for now. I'll be right back."

* * *

Emma stood in front of the building on Mulberry Street, looking for any sign that one might belong to Neal. The only name panel left blank was for a unit on the fourth floor. She scanned the windows from the street and noticed a familiar dream catcher hanging from one of the sash locks. She climbed the fire escape and peaked through the glass. The fine layer of dust on every surface told Emma that no one stayed in the apartment in months.

She lightly pushed up on the widow, which slid open easily. Not a great sign when someone leaves without their stuff and without locking the windows and doors.

Emma slid through the window and looked over the space. Except for the stolen dream catcher in the window, there were no decorations. The shelves were bare except for dust and random objects that seemed to have been placed there out of convenience rather than with any purpose. Only a few objects seemed out of place in the sparsely furnished apartment: a leather-bound book, two hand-woven dream catchers, a camera with Henry's name printed across the strap, and an ornate full-length mirror that was partially covered by a blanket.

Emma was most alarmed by the camera. She'd never bought Henry a camera, let alone a personalized, embroidered strap. She tucked the camera into her coat pocket. The roll of film was already wound, so maybe she'd get some more information after developing pictures.

She moved to examine the storybook next. The leather was worn along the corners and spine, and the frayed paper was bent and discolored along the edges. There was no author name on the cover, nor was there any kind of title page or copyright information. The stories just started after the first blank page. The corner was folded over on one page. Emma flipped it open, looking at the smiling face of the young woman in the illustration. The red of her cheeks shown bright against the pale blue of her riding coat. The light in her dark eyes made Emma feel like the woman was looking back at her, as though there were actual life within the water color irises. Her gaze felt familiar, but Emma couldn't place why.

She flipped to the end of the book. Something in the back of her mind told her that there was something important at the end of the book. However, the last three pages had been torn out.

Emma flipped back to the picture of the woman in the riding coat. She'd seen that face before, she was sure of it.

Just after her last blackout, she'd found a video on her phone that she didn't remember taking. Most of it was muffled, indiscernible audio paired with a view of the apartment floor, but there was a shot in the first ten seconds of a woman running toward Emma.

She scrolled through her pictures and videos until she found the clip from six months ago. A few seconds in, she hit pause. She could hear herself saying "Regina" to the woman. It's was the same name as the woman in the book! And they looked almost identical!

Emma's focus on the book was broken by the sound of a muffled voice coming from behind her. There was no space for anyone to hide, so she searched for a speaker or a phone that might be lying around. After searching everywhere, she could think to look, Emma was ready to assume that she'd imagined the voice.

"Regina?" a voice called as Emma was walking past the bed. "Regina, is that you?"

For a moment, she was certain she'd lost her mind. The sound was definitely coming from the mirror.

She gingerly pulled the blanket off of the mirror, not sure what she was expecting to find. A cloud of dust billowed out into the air as the blanket slipped over the frame of the mirror, with a sizable amount of dust seeming to land in Emma's eyes and mouth.

"Shit," she coughed as she tried to rub the dust out of her eyes. She was initially relieved to see her own reflection. However, as the blur from the dust dissipated, she realized that she was looking at a someone else entirely.

"Emma?" a woman with long black hair ask cautiously. "Emma, what are you doing here?"

Emma wasn't sure what exactly she was seeing. She tapped the glass, thinking that perhaps she was looking at a monitor of some kind, but she was surprised to find that the surface was actual glass.

"Can you hear me Emma?" the woman asked, sounding oddly sad.

"Are...are you real?" Emma asked. "I mean... what am I looking at here?" she asked as she gestured toward the mirror.

The woman turned toward someone Emma couldn't see and walked away. She looked almost reluctant to leave.

Emma threw the blanket back over the mirror, still unsure about what she'd just seen.

She could hear people moving in the hall and was worried about the building manager finding her in Neal's apartment. She was about to slide out over the window sill when something stopped her. The dream catchers on the table seemed to pull at a her, drawing her attention. The sounds in the hallway were growing louder, so Emma tucked the dream catchers into her pocket. She also slipped the storybook under her arm, still curious about the woman in the riding coat.

* * *

Henry was playing Diablo 3 when Emma returned, still embracing their Saturday tradition of staying in pajamas. He gave her a waive over his shoulder as she walked over to the kitchen counter.

"Find anything interesting?" Henry asked.

"Nope! Dead end," she told him. She took out a set of ear buds and plugged them into her phone. She'd never bothered to figure out what the woman in the mystery video was saying, but she was curious after seeing her likeness and name in the storybook.

She played the clip slowly scanning for parts where the camera wasn't facing the floor. The video was about two hours in length, but there were only about five minutes of actual footage. She turned up the volume to try and make out the audio.

At one point, she could see that her hair was covering the camera, but she caught occasional glimpses of the woman through it.

"Be happy," Emma heard. "I love you, Miss Swan." She stared at her phone, confused by what she was hearing. She saved that section of video, re-watching it to try and understand.

"Hey, mom," Henry called out to her. "You wanna get in on this dungeon?"

"On my way, kid!" Emma left the phone and opted to spend time with her son, momentarily forgetting her concern about this mysterious Regina.

* * *

That night, as Emma lay in bed, she found she couldn't quiet her mind. There was something about the woman's voice that unsettled her. She was telling Emma to be happy, that she loved her. So why did it sound like she was crying? Who was she?

Emma pulled out the storybook and read the chapter containing the picture of Regina smiling. She regretted her decision shortly after, finding that abuse and murder were not ideal components of a bedtime story.

She closed the book and fell back on her pillow. Something about the woman in the video was still weighing on her mind. When it was obvious she wasn't going to be able to sleep, Emma decided to go for a walk to clear her head. She left a note for Henry on the counter in case he woke up, then pulled on her boots and coat.

The spring air still had a distinct chill, holding onto the last hints of winter. All of the ice had vanished, but telltale puddles remained in the uneven surface of the streets, hinting at what had recently been. Even with winter having been gone for weeks, the world seemed intent on clinging to its memory for longer than expected.

The clock flashing in a nearby shop window read 2:00am. Even at this hour, many of the storefronts were still open, the lights streaming out into the dimly lit street and reflecting on the wet ground. The street wasn't as crowded as it was in the daylight, but it was not at all empty. All of the sounds and energy felt reduced to a hum rather than a howl.

Emma pushed the door into a corner pharmacy where she had dropped off the film from Henry's camera for developing. It had been years since she used an analog camera and she couldn't remember how long the photos took to process. She figured there couldn't be too many other orders waiting, so the photos might already be done.

She walked to the counter and asked the attendant about her order. After getting some odd looks—she was right, there were no other orders for developing film—he handed her an envelope with the pictures and the negatives. There was a thick stack of pictures in the envelope. Emma hadn't asked for duplicates, so she was surprised by the volume of photos.

There was a bench outside of the shop that was directly in front of one of the brightly lit windows. She could have waited until she was home, but she couldn't stave off her curiosity that long. She slid back on the bench, making sure she was far enough under the awning that any dripping water wouldn't fall onto the pictures.

Opening the envelope, she gingerly removed the stack of photos. She was in some of them, as was Henry. There was also an extensive cast of others who appeared repeatedly in the pictures. Emma had no memory of any of these events, nor of any of these people. What was this?

Further into the pile were several pictures of Regina. Emma almost flipped past them because she looked different, somehow. Her face was more stern, the creases in her brow hinting at the stress that was weighing on her. The candid shots of her were followed by pictures of her tight smile, as though the photographer had been caught sneaking up on her. It wasn't the same smile from the book. This smile was more controlled, almost with a hint of effort, as though she was trying to look happier than she was. Her eyes were darker, more like the woman in the video than the one in the illustration.

At the very bottom of the pile was a picture of Regina and Henry surrounded by wrapping paper. The two of them smiled out of the picture at Emma. Henry's face was younger, his cheeks were fuller and his chin was more narrow. His eyes were filled with an excitement that Emma recognized. Henry smiled like that when he had been surprised with something he liked. Perhaps this picture was after Henry received the camera as a gift?

Regina looked genuinely happy in the picture. Her smile reached her eyes, creating small creases at their edges. Her mouth was open and it looked like she was caught mid-laugh. The crease in her brow was gone, showing no signs of whatever had been bothering her in the other photos. Who was she? Why was she celebrating with Henry?

In the corner of the frame Emma could see the blurred image of a card. There was a bright red '10' printed over the yellow and blue background. Was this his birthday? He'd been with Emma on his tenth birthday. She tried to think back to that day, but couldn't remember anything specific. Thinking on it more, she started to remember being in a house with Henry, giving him several gifts after they shared part of a cake she'd baked for him. Emma never baked, though. She tried for Henry's last birthday and he had made fun of how bad the cake was for weeks after. Moreover, they'd never lived in a house.

She never felt compelled to focus much on her past—a habit she'd developed throughout her exceedingly difficult childhood. It was easier to not reflect on her experiences. Even her pleasant memories tended to sting because they were closely connected to hardship. This memory was different, though. She could barely focus on it at all, like it was actively evading her.

Emma turned back to the photos. She and Henry were in so many of them, but she couldn't remember the context of any of them. Did that mean that Henry couldn't remember them either?

None of the landmarks looked familiar. She googled signs she saw in the background, any addresses she could see, and she even saved a few license plate numbers to check them later. At this moment, though, it looked as though the location in the pictures didn't exist. How were there pictures of her and Henry that she couldn't remember from a place that didn't exist?

Emma pulled out one of the negatives and held it up to the light. She saw the tiny inverted images of her and Henry smiling back at her. They were whole, not cut or pieced together. The images were tiny replicas of the larger photos, not showing any obvious differences between the negatives and prints. These were real photos.

This didn't make any sense. Not that she had anything to refute that the events were real. She and Henry had moved to New York after a fire destroyed everything in their old apartment. There were no photos of Henry from when he was younger, no documents proving where they'd been. To anyone else, it would seem obvious that the events in the pictures had actually take place.

She flipped through the pictures again, trying to find any hint of something she might remember. Part was through the pile was a picture of children playing on a playground. They were dressed in dark colored school uniforms with a logo Emma had never seen printed near the shoulder of their sweaters. In the background was a woman dressed in a pastel colored cardigan—she guessed that was the teacher or caretaker. Her raven hair was cropped short at the back and sides with the longer hair on the top and front being brushed toward her forehead. Upon closer inspection, the woman's face was familiar, like someone Emma had seen recently. Was she the woman from the mirror?

* * *

Emma went back to the apartment and attempted to sleep. She only managed to sleep for an hour or two before she heard Henry switching into his Xbox. The distinct ring of the "voom" sound as the console booted up pulled Emma from her sleep and put her back into her flurry of thoughts.

"Mom?" Henry called to her from the other room. "Mom are you up? What's this stuff on the counter?"

Had she left the photos on the counter? Emma sprung out of bed and ran out of her room.

"Where did you get these?" Henry asked, picking up a photo of him and Emma at a diner. "What is this from."

Telling him that she didn't know wasn't going to be good enough, she knew that. "Why don't we sit down, kid," she said as she walked over to the couch. As Henry sat down, she started to explain, "I found your dad's apartment yesterday. That's what the phone call was about."

"My dad? I thought you said he ran away to Canada after he left you in Portland?" She'd been honest with Henry about his father, which was part of why she hadn't assumed that he'd sought his father out.

"He did, but apparently he moved to New York sometime in the last few years. He lived just up the street." She stopped for a moment, trying her best to figure out how to explain what she had found in the apartment. "Hold on," she instructed as she went to her room to grab the other things she had taken. She placed the camera, dream catchers, and storybook on the table. "Have you ever seen any of this stuff?"

"No," he told her. "Was this his stuff?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "The manager said a woman was living there for a little while, so it could be her stuff."

They looked through the photos and the book, trying to piece together any information that they could. Emma logged into her work computer and used a database to search the license plate number she found, but there were no records of them. The only information the two of them could piece together was that some of the photos were taken in Maine—Henry managed to make out the state on one of the plates using a magnifying glass. Neither of them had any memory of visiting Maine.

Emma sighed as she leaned into the couch. She still hadn't told him about the woman in the mirror. He would think she was insane—she felt insane even thinking about it! However, the woman in the mirror was probably the only person who could give them any answers.

"I've seen her before," Henry said as he lifted up a photo of Regina. "Her picture used to be on the school website, but I guess she quit." He pulled out his phone and searched for the electronic newsletters on his school's website. The title of the section said 'Welcoming Our New Teachers' in bold letters above a candid picture of seven people. In the front left corner was a woman with dark hair taping something to a wall. "That's her," he confirmed. "The caption says her name is Regina Mills."

Emma thought back to the Regina from the story she'd read the night before. The mother of the Regina in the story had worked in a mill. It could all be coincidence, but this seemed too strange for that to be the case.

"Wanna see something even weirder?" Emma asked as she slid the book toward them. "She's in this book. Same name. Her mom even worked in a mill." She opened the book to the page with Regina smiling.

"That's her!" He reached out toward the picture. "What does that mean, though?"

Emma was typing away on her computer, looking for any records of this woman. "I dunno," she admitted. She threw her hands up in defeat. "There's no record of her even being in New York, let alone Maine. There's a record of her employment at your school and that's it. No apartment lease, no car registration, not even a record of her being born."

"So, what? She's a ghost?" Henry joked. "A ghost who squatted in my dad's old apartment?"

At this point, Emma wasn't sure if the mirror was so insane anymore. "There's something else I found in the apartment," she started, saying the words slowly as she considered the best way to explain what she saw. "It...I know this is going to sound insane—,"

"Mom, all of this is insane," Henry reassured her.

"Right," she agreed. "There's this mirror or a screen or something. There was a woman talking on it. She knew my name." Emma found the photo of the woman with a pixie cut and showed it to Henry. "This is her. She had long hair, though, and she was dressed like a Renaissance Fair actor."

"Wait, are you trying to tell me you saw a magic mirror, because that _is_ insane." Apparently magic was too far for Henry, despite suggesting that ghosts were plausible. "Mom, is this a prank?" he asked as he relaxed a bit, certain that his mom was messing with him.

"No! Kid, I'm being serious!" Emma realized that she'd lost him; he wasn't buying any of this.

"Sure, mom," Henry said with a cocky grin. "You almost had me going there." He picked up the controller and selected the game he wanted to play from the menu. "You really had a lot of time on your hands while you were home, huh? That was pretty elaborate."

Unexpectedly, her heart sank as she watched her son dismiss all of the information she'd shown him. She felt like something important had just slipped through her fingers, but she couldn't identify what it was.

* * *

Emma stared at the ceiling as she prepared for another sleepless night. Her mind couldn't seem to let go of the feeling that she was missing something. Giving up on sleep, she walked quietly out of her room and toward the couch. She picked up the photo of the woman from the mirror and studied it.

She needed answers.

A few minutes later, she found herself in front on the building on Mulberry Street for the second time. The windows of the building were dark and the street was largely deserted. With any luck, she could get in and out again without any issues.

She climbed the fire escape and slid open the window. Climbing through, she stopped as she heard voices coming from inside.

"I don't think she's coming back, Snow," a man was saying.

"He's right," a woman was agreeing with him, but not the same woman Emma had heard before. "We need to break the enchantment. If Regina isn't coming back, then someone else could find the mirror. Someone other than Emma or Henry. We don't know what the consequences of that might be."

They knew her and Henry? How was that possible? She needed to know who these people were.

"Just another minute," a familiar voice pleaded. "I just want to say goodbye."

"Wait," Emma said as she ran to the mirror and removed the blanket.

The three people looked out at her in shock—well two normal sized people and one...bug person? Their eyes were wide as they took in the sight of Emma.

"Who the hell are you people?!" she demanded. After a moment of silence, Emma tried a different question. "How do I find her?" She held up the picture of Henry and Regina. "How do I find Regina?"

"You remember her?" Snow gasped.

"No. I don't." She felt almost saddened by the admission. "She knew me, though." Emma pulled out her phone and held it up to the mirror, playing the clip of Regina talking to Emma. "This was during one of my blackouts. Why was she there? Why are there pictures of her with my son?"

"I—," Snow looked at the Charming and Blue, none of them knowing was to say.

"Emma—," Blue started.

"What the hell are you?" Emma stopped her.

"I'm sorry, Emma," Blue apologized, waiving her hand and disappearing into a glittering blue cloud. As the smoke dissipated, the woman emerged—normal sized. "Is this better?"

"No!" Emma yelled as she fell back on the bed. "What the hell are you?! What is this?!" She gestured toward the mirror.

"Emma," Blue started again. "Regina is gone. All you need to know is that it was for your safety."

"When did she leave?" Something was knitting together in Emma's mind. The blackouts stopped around the same time the video was recorded. "Did she stop the blackouts?"

"Emma, it isn't safe," Blue told her. "Please, just be happy with your life. It's what she wanted for you." Blue waived her hand, erasing the scene in the mirror and replacing it with Emma's reflection.

Her mind was racing. She was onto something, she knew it, but there was still quite a bit that she was missing. This woman had to do with her blackouts, but why? She'd been at Henry's school around the same time. Did she disappear?

Emma needed answers, but was at a loss for where to look. If it had something to do with her blackouts, then maybe there was something in her medical file. She left the apartment and ran down the fire escape, keeping an eye out for an available taxi as she reached the street.

* * *

Blue stepped away from the mirror as Snow dropped to the floor.

"What does this mean?" Charming asked the fairy. "Why is she trying to find Regina?"

"I don't know," Blue admitted. "She should just be another stranger to Emma and Henry."

"Is it possible they remember her? Is it dangerous?" Charming pressed the fairy.

"There are rare cases where people have been known to reject false memories, much like you and Snow under the curse. You kept rejecting the idea of being with Kathryn, even though your memories should have convinced you to stay with her." Blue paused, trying to understand the current situation. "You still had your real memories, though. They were just buried beneath the cursed memories."

"Emma has magic," Snow said quietly, unsure of whether the information was relevant. "Maybe this is what she wants."

"What do you mean?" Charming crouch down next to his wife.

"Regina said you can't completely erase critical figures in people's lives," Snow said.

"That's correct," Blue confirmed. "Regina had to replace herself with Emma in Henry's new memories. Removing people too recklessly could prevent the new memories from being accepted."

"But what about Emma?" Snow asked. "Emma talked to her most days in New York."

"That was only for a short while, though. It's not the same as Henry forgetting his mother," Blue told her.

"No, but Regina was important in Emma's life. Especially after the curse broke. She showed Emma how to use magic. She trusted Emma more so than anyone else in Storybrooke, except for Henry." Snow watched Charming and Blue's face, waiting for an indication that what she was saying made sense. There was something in the back of her mind that had been nagging at her for some time. She could see it behind Emma's eyes when she had trusted that Regina hadn't killed Archie, when she had insisted that they not leave Regina to be killed by the wraith. Emma had trusted Regina to teach her magic without allowing dark magic to consume her and, in kind, Regina had taken it upon herself to do the unsightly acts so that Emma wouldn't have to. Something had been lingering between the women for as long as Snow had known them in Storybrooke; something left unsaid because neither needed it confirmed aloud. "Emma understood Regina in a way none of us did, and I think Regina understood Emma that way, as well."

"So, what does her magic have to do with any of this?" Blue wasn't sure what Snow was getting at.

"Emma used her magic to break the curse, remember? It was about Henry, someone important to her," Snow told them. She thought back to her last memory of Emma, when they all had stood at the town line, stealing the final glimpses of the daughter she once again had to send away. Regina, holding Emma's hands. Emma staring back into Regina's eyes and tearing up at the realization that Regina was giving Emma everything. She was giving them all the happiness and peace that she had longed for her entire life, knowing that they would have it without her. In her eyes, Emma had held the weight of that sacrifice, seeing it for all that it was. She could see how Emma had recognized the necessity of what Regina was doing—they couldn't leave Henry alone—but they had lingered there, both reluctant to accept the impending reality.

"I think she's breaking through the memory spell for Regina." She saw Blue tilt her head in interest—she was onto something.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! I am so tired.
> 
> So, originally, I was going to have Emma and Henry wake up and then track down Regina immediately. I was going to have Emma startle Regina by saying something about how Regina stole her yellow Bug, then they'd embrace and run back to Storybrooke. I hated how it ended up, though, so I spent an entire Saturday re-writing it. Then I got carried away and enjoyed myself a bit too much. There's 2 chapters left after this!
> 
> I do not own OUAT or any of its characters.

Chapter 6

Emma walked into the lobby of the hospital, striding toward the reception desk. She wasn't sure what she was looking for, but she was hoping she'd know when she saw something important.

"How can I help you?" the reception nurse asked her.

"Hi, I was here a few months ago and I'm looking for someone who might have been involved with my hospitalization. Do you know if I can find a record of anyone coming in with me?" Emma pulled out her PI license—something she'd picked up when she became a bounty hunter—and placed it on the counter. "And the security footage for the hall near the room I was in."

Emma remembered being told that she'd had another blackout after she arrived at the hospital. Maybe this mystery woman had been there when it happened.

The nurse gathered several forms for Emma to sign and paged one of the hospital security personnel. Emma completed the forms and brought them back to the desk.

"Your intake information says you were accompanied by someone named Regina Mills," the nurse told her. "Someone from security should be here shortly speak with you."

"Thanks," Emma said as she turned toward the row of chairs along the wall. So, Regina had been here. She had come into the hospital with her.

The elevator let out a loud ding as the door slid open. A middle-aged man in a wrinkled plaid shirt exited the elevator and walked toward the reception desk. The radio on his belt chirped and sounded periodically. Emma guessed this was the guy from security.

After a brief introduction, he took Emma down to the main security office. She gave him the dates of her hospitalization and he pulled up the footage from the night she had been there. She'd been there for around 24 hours, so there was no way she could stay at the hospital to review all the footage.

The man took some convincing—and about an hour to confirm her PI license was valid—but he agreed to let Emma take a copy of the security footage with her. Confident that she was onto something, Emma called a taxi to take her home.

* * *

"Earth to mom," Henry called to her from across the table.

Emma wasn't fully awake. She'd spent the remainder of her night watching the footage of the hall outside her hospital room. Apparently, the first several hours was when the doctor had ordered most of the testing, so no one was in the room during that time. So far, no luck.

"Sorry, kid," she yawned. "Long night."

Henry walked around the table to get a look at Emma's computer screen. "This is from the hospital."

"Yep." She wasn't intentionally hiding her most recent lead from him, but she hadn't figured out how to tell him that she got the idea from a mirror. "Just seeing if anyone had stopped by my room besides you."

"It was just me, mom. Remember?" he questioned. "They brought me a cot to sleep on until Avery's mom came and got me?"

Emma was staring intently at the screen. "Just checking something out."

"Look," Henry said as he pulled the computer away from her. "I remember when I went up to the room. I can show you." He fast forwarded the footage until he saw himself appear on the screen. "See?" He said as he turned the computer back to her.

Emma watched, momentarily disappointed by what she was seeing. Suddenly she perked up. "Wait," she said as she paused the video. "Henry, look!"

He moved behind his mother and looked at the screen. There she was. Walking into Emma's room not long after a cot had been brought for Henry. "It's her."

"It sure is."

They both sat in silence, staring at the woman on the screen.

"How is that possible?" Emma finally broke the silence.

"Mom, this is crazy." Henry walked back to the coffee table where they'd left the book and the pictures. He flipped to the illustration of Regina. His fingers skimmed the surface of the page, gently smoothing the paper to get a better look at the woman's face. "Why did you even get the footage?"

"It's," she tried to formulate a good explanation. "It's complicated."

"No, you left in the middle of the night to track down hospital footage. You wouldn't do that without having a reason to go looking for it," he pointed out.

Emma looked over at her son, not sure whether she should lie and say it was all a joke, or admit that people she spoke to in a mirror gave her the idea. Neither option was good. She knew what Henry would want though. He'd want her to tell him the truth.

"I went back to your dad's apartment last night," she explained. "I had to look at the mirror again."

"The magic mirror?" Henry scoffed. He flipped through the pages of the book absentmindedly as Emma went to join him on the couch.

She looked down at the page and saw an illustration of Snow and Charming. "That's them! Those are the people from the mirror!"

Henry looked down at the page. "Really mom, Snow White and Prince Charming?"

Emma looked down at the text next to the illustration. "Yeah," she said with disbelief. "That's them."

"Mom this is insane!" Henry rubbed his face with his hands.

"Well, how would you explain this mystery woman who neither of us can remember? Huh?" Emma's frustration was mixed with exhaustion after not sleeping well for two nights in a row. "She was here, Henry. In our apartment. Her name is on my intake form. She was at your school!" Emma stopped for a moment to breathe. She was getting too worked up and she knew it, but she couldn't get this woman out of her head. "It's like she just vanished."

Henry looked at the woman smiling back at him from the photo of his tenth birthday—or what was seemed to be his birthday, at least. He picked up the photograph and held it in front of him. His heart ached when he looked at the woman's smiling face. How could he miss someone he couldn't remember? He looked back down at the book. This whole situation felt like it was taken from one of those fairytales.

Emma followed his gaze and picked up the book, pulling it onto her lap. "It's like magic," she whispered.

It felt as though the world shifted as a golden glow erupted from the dream catchers. The fuzzy memories of their life together faded, replaced by the sharply detailed memories of Regina and Storybrooke. For a moment, the flood of images hurt, as though their minds were balloons filling with too much air. Just before it felt as though their minds might burst, there was a release of magic.

"Mom," Henry said as he looked back at the picture of Regina. "We have to go find her." Henry pushed off the couch, determined to find Regina. As he stood, he felt Emma slide to the side. Emma was slumped over, barely conscious. "Mom, what's wrong?"

* * *

Months earlier in the Enchanted Forest, Regina was walking along the castle grounds, frustrated by the knowledge that she had no way of getting to Henry and Emma. There were no more portals, she'd told them. It needed to be that way. Now her son and Emma were in danger because of her and there was nothing she could do. Regina was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she almost didn't notice the giant that was sitting at the shore nearby.

"Regina," he greeted, tearing her out of her thoughts.

She jumped, only just realizing that someone else was present. "Giant," she nodded as she continued walking.

"Wait, Regina! I need to talk to you!" Anton turned to get up, shaking the ground around him and knocking Regina over. "Sorry," he apologized, offering his hand to help her up.

Regina brushed the dirt from her coat. "What is it?" The question had her notorious bite behind it, but it didn't completely mask the hopelessness she was feeling.

"Can you make me small?" he asked.

She looked up at him with confusion. He had seemed annoyed by his small size in Storybrooke. Why was he insistent on being small now?

"I'm too big to be with my dwarf brothers in the mines. I can't even go near it. The ground shakes when I walk and it could trigger a cave in," he explained. His voice cracked slightly as he spoke, his eyes flicking briefly in the direction of the mines. They'd been back for quite some time and, due to his size, Anton had spent that period alone. In Storybrooke, where he was human-sized, he'd found a new family. For the first time in three decades, he'd felt like he belonged again. Once they returned, he'd lost all of that. He had awoken alone atop the beanstalk, the treasure and salted fields being painful reminders of his brothers from his life before the curse. He had been overjoyed upon remembering that he had a new family in his dwarf brothers, and he had climbed down the beanstalk to seek them out. However, before he could even reach the mines, the shaking ground from his footfalls collapsed a long section of the mine, nearly trapping several of his brothers. Since then, he had stayed away, having to observe his brothers from a distance.

Regina could see the longing in Anton's eyes as he looked in the direction of the mines. It was the same look she'd seen in her stepdaughter's eyes when they had watched Henry and Emma. If she had seen her own face, she knew that her eyes probably held the same sentiment. It was the look of someone forced to live apart from the ones they loved. Regina couldn't remedy that pain for herself or for Snow, but she recognized that there was something she could do for Anton. She waived her hand, making Anton human-sized. At least this was someone she could help. Anton could be with his new family. Lucky him, she thought.

She stalked away, not waiting for a thank you and not wanting to have any further conversation with the giant. She needed to focus. There had to be a way to help Henry and Emma.

"Regina, wait," he called as he ran after her.

"What?! What do you want?!" She wanted to be left alone with her thoughts. The giant was only distracting her from finding a way to get to Emma and Henry.

Anton took Regina's hand and placed a small velvet sack in her palm. "We salted the fields when the humans attacked. The beans won't work to transport you, but maybe there's enough magic left in the remains that they can help." He patted her hand.

There was a peculiar understanding that passed between them. Anton had been unable to be with his new family as a giant without risking their safety, but, using magic, he could still be with them in another form. Perhaps Regina could do the same.

"Thank you," she told him before transporting herself back to the castle.

She and Blue were able to use the remnants to make a limited portal. Only one person could cross, and there would be no return trip. Regina would be traveling to the land without magic alone to repair the memory spell. For her, being in the same world as her son, even if he couldn't remember her, might be enough for her.

* * *

Emma had awoken hours later in her bed. Before falling asleep, Henry had managed to get her into her room. She had assured him that she was fine, but Henry stayed with her until she woke.

"Mom?" Henry asked when he heard Emma stir. "Mom what happened?"

Emma's mind began to clear as she sat up. It was dark outside. "Did I sleep all day?"

"Yes," Henry responded, waiting for an explanation.

Her muscles ached as she moved. It felt as though she'd participated in a triathlon without any training. "Shit," she muttered as she slid her legs over the side of the bed.

"Are you okay, mom?" Henry asked.

"Yeah, kid," she reassured him. "Just sore." It felt similar to the soreness she experienced after stopping the trigger back in Storybrooke; she'd drained her magic. There was no magic in New York, though, so maybe her body was struggling to replenish the magic she lost.

Henry helped her out to the couch. She could smell something burnt as she fell into the soft cushions. Looking over at the end table, she saw the charred remains of the dream catchers she'd taken from Neal's apartment. "What happened to these?" she asked him.

"No idea. When I came back out here, they were completely fried." He shrugged.

Emma picked up one of the dream catchers, watching it crumble into dust and vanish at her touch. Her fingers glowed faintly for a moment and her soreness began to fade. "They're magic," she said, grabbing the second one. After a few moments, she felt good enough to stand. She stretched her arms, testing how much soreness remained.

Her eyes fell on the picture of Regina. She was still missing. Breaking the memory spell hadn't given them any knowledge of where she was.

"We need to go," Emma said suddenly.

"Yep," Henry agreed as he tossed her the keys and picked up the two bags he'd left by the door.

* * *

They drove through the night to the only place they could think to look: Storybrooke. Well, the location where they remembered Storybrooke having been. Henry suggested that maybe all of Emma's magic had been sapped in order to recreate the town. The only way they could have stable memories of Storybrooke was if it existed again, or at least that's what they guessed based on what Regina had told them before they escaped the curse. She said their memories would be gone and that everyone from Storybrooke would go back to being just stories in Emma's and Henry's minds. Even if the town didn't exist, they figured its last location would be the first place Regina would go.

After about eight hours of driving, they approached the spot where the town line should have been. They parked on the side of the road and cautiously approached. Sunlight was beginning to peak over the trees, illuminating the road ahead of them.

Emma walked slowly with her arm outstretched. The tips of her fingers collided with some cold, almost like ice water. She watched as barely visible ripples formed around her fingertips. Pressing her fingers further, she began to feel it. She could feel the magic.

"Kid!" she yelled to Henry, who was a few yards behind her. "I found it!"

They ran back to the car. Emma started the engine and shifted into drive, immediately pressing down on the gas. They both felt the cold veil of the barrier pass over them as the "Welcome to Storybrooke" sign suddenly appeared ahead of them. They were home.

Emma wanted to floor the car all the way to 108 Mifflin Street, but stayed her excitement. She didn't know if anyone might be in the street, and starting her return with vehicular manslaughter was not ideal. They passed the shops of downtown Storybrooke, letting out shocked gasps as they noted that everything was exactly as it had been before they left. Turning onto Mifflin Street, they could see cars in the driveways and a handful of people walking on the sidewalks.

Emma pulled her car into Regina's driveway and parked. Henry barely waited for the car to stop, pulling up the lock on the door and jumping out. He ran to the door and slammed the knocker into the metal plate. Emma was behind him only a few seconds later.

Seconds passed with no answer.

"She's probably just waking up," Henry reassured them both. "She doesn't like answering the door unless she fully dressed." He knocked a few more times and then took a step back to wait.

No answer.

He stretched his arm out and pressed the doorbell rapidly.

No answer.

They stood in silence for what felt like minutes. Emma looked down at her watch, noting that it had only been around thirty seconds since they had arrived.

They repeated the process of knocking and ringing the bell for five minutes without any response. At the very least, they would have expected that the noise would annoy Regina.

Henry reached for the door handle and pushed down the lever that released the latch. The door was unlocked. He let go of the handle, allowing it to swing inward ahead of them. Neither wanted to enter. Going inside would mean potentially confirming that Regina wasn't there.

They stood in silence, unsure of how to proceed.

"Mom?" Henry finally called into the house. The echo of his voice bounced across the walls of the entryway. Even when it wasn't only him and Regina, he could never remember hearing his echo last quite that long. The sound of the other person in the house always covered the sound. Now the echo intensified the sensation of emptiness that poured out of the doorway. She wasn't here.

Henry stepped into the house, automatically wiping his shoes and removing them before stepping onto the light wood floors. Regina had drilled the habit into him as soon as he could walk. Emma followed suit, not wanting to immediately piss off Regina if she was home.

They walked cautiously around the ground floor searching for any sign of life. Everything was exactly as it had been the morning of the day the curse was destroyed. The dishes from breakfast were sitting in the drying rack and Regina's coffee mug sat in the bottom of the sink. The towel she had used the wipe down the counter still hung over the center of the double basin sink. The book Regina had been reading sat open on the table with the pages facing down, saving her place in the story.

Henry ran up the stairs to his room. The bed was still half made, with his blue quilt bunch on the edge of the bed that faced the window. His pajamas were draped over his desk chair, ready to either be washed or worn for another night. He'd grown quite a bit since he'd last worn those clothes and they probably wouldn't fit him anymore.

He turned and walked to the door of Regina's room. It was closed. After she finished getting ready for the day, Regina typically left the door open until she was ready to go to bed. He remembered her routines being rigid, almost eerily precise. The closed door seemed to scream at him that she wasn't there. He listened, hoping to hear her breathing on the other side, but only heard the sound of Emma's movements on the floor below. He closed his eyes as her turned the knob, staving off the confirmation of Regina's absence. The door swung freely, the handle making a light tap as it bounced against the wall. He opened his eyes.

The bed was meticulously made and overwhelmingly empty.

Emma could see Henry's face from where she was standing at the bottom of the stairs. She wasn't here. "Hey, kid," she said gently. "Let's go check Granny's. Maybe she's meeting up with everyone else there?"

"Yeah," he half-heartedly agreed.

They both slid there shoes back on, all sense of urgency now lost. They'd still walk to the diner to look for her, but neither expected that she'd be there.

* * *

The bell let out a familiar ring as Emma walked through the door. It was about 8am by the time she and Henry walked there from Regina's house.

"Emma? Henry?" Snow's arms were around them only seconds after they entered. Emma could feel Snow's tears on her neck as she was enveloped into a hug. Calm swept over Emma as she felt the weight of her mother falling onto her. She melted into the embrace, only just now realizing how much she'd wanted this over the last year.

Charming was close behind Snow, pulling all three of his family members into him and tucking Henry's head beneath his chin. This was where they belonged, where they needed to be.

Emma looked over Charming's shoulder, taking note of who else was in the diner. It was easy enough to identify everyone, as they were all staring at her—a quality of this town that she had not at all missed. She could see the dwarves, Belle, Ruby, Granny, and Archie near the counter. Geppetto and Pinocchio sat at the booth near the window. Abigail and Frederick sat in the next booth. Emma could see Snow's and Charming's coats in the far booth.

There was no sign of Regina.

Sitting alone at a table near the back was the Blue Fairy. She watched the relief wash over Emma and Henry as they embraced their family members. She saw Emma's eyes open and scan the room, her smile faltering as she reached the last empty seat. Blue had seen their car drive past the convent as she was walking to breakfast, so she knew they had made another stop before coming here. They already knew Regina wasn't here.

Snow released Emma, taking her daughter's face in both hands as though to confirm that she really existed. "We never thought we'd see you again."

"I know," Emma smiled back, her own tears threatening to fall at the corners of her eyes.

Snow and Charming led Henry and Emma further into the diner where the small crowd of people leapt up to greet them. The whole atmosphere seemed to be pulling them in, assuring them that they were home.

After the heartfelt greetings, the Charming family made their way back to the booth. Granny brought over their usual breakfast orders, taking a moment to hug both Emma and Henry. Emma had forgotten how good it felt to be wanted and loved by these people.

"Have you seen Regina yet?" Snow asked, assuming that the diner had been their first stop. Unfortunately, Emma misunderstood the nature of Snow's question.

"She's here? You've seen her?" Emma asked excitedly.

Snow looked at her husband with concern, then turned back to her daughter. "No, we figured she was at home."

"The house is empty," Henry stated.

The family sat in silence for a moment, the only sound between them being the scratch of Henry's fork across his plate as he anxiously poked at his pancakes.

Emma decided to finally break the tense silence. "We thought she went back to the Enchanted Forest after she changed our memories."

"No," Snow said. "Emma, it was a one-way trip." The words hung in the air for a moment, heavy with implication. "We could only create a limited portal. Only one person could pass through, then the connection to the Enchanted Forest would be severed."

"So, she knew she'd be stuck here before she left?" Henry asked.

"Yes, Henry," Snow confirmed. "The last time she contacted us was around six months ago. She told us that she'd fixed the memory spell, and then we never saw her again."

"So, she's still in this world then?" Henry asked.

"I would think so," Snow said cautiously.

"Then we can still find her, mom," Henry told Emma.

* * *

Henry and Emma decided to stay in the mayoral mansion. Emma thought it was good for Henry to be able to stay in his old room, and she didn't mind staying in Regina's guest room. Either of them could have taken the bed in Regina's room, but it didn't feel right.

For the first few weeks after their return, they decided not to leave town, holding out hope that Regina might return on her own. Emma and Snow took up the mayoral duties, a role that neither was particularly adept at handling. Each morning the she entered the office, Emma fully expected Regina to be waiting behind the desk to scold her for her misfiling of town records. However, she only ever found Snow puzzling over the nightmare of paperwork.

After two months, Henry and Emma started to give up on Regina's return. Summer rolled in, the buds on the trees falling and being replaced by leaves. The earlier sun rises pushed light through the windows of the guest room, blaring bright beams of light across Emma's face just before 6am. Emma started the feel like the light was mocking her, reminding her of the time that had passed without Regina returning.

One such morning, Emma dragged herself out of bed by 6:30am. She hated mornings, but she wanted to stop by the convent before work.

As the weeks passed, Henry had started to express concern that something might have happened to Regina. Snow had told her how Blue had an enchanted a mirror so that they could see Henry and Emma after the curse—a revelation that made Emma wildly uncomfortable. Emma hoped that something similar could be done to verify that Regina was okay.

Blue was sweeping the front steps of the convent as Emma approached. She could see the urgency in the blonde's gait, knowing the purpose of Emma's visit before she was halfway across the lawn.

"Hey, Blue," Emma started. "Listen, I know you and Regina don't really see eye to eye—"

"It's fine, Emma," Blue stopped her.

Emma was perplexed by how quickly Blue seemed to dismiss her prejudice against Regina. That was certainly a new development. "Okay, great." Emma tried to gather her thoughts. She'd expected to have to convince Blue to help her and was thrown off by the fairy's willingness to help. "Um. The thing you did with the mirror to check in on me in New York. Can you do that with Regina?"

"It depends on where Regina is," Blue explained. "Regardless, your magic should be strong enough to look in on her even if she's in another realm."

Emma was taken aback by the revelation. Other than Regina, almost no one else had ever let on that they were aware of Emma's magical abilities. "Really?"

"Emma," Blue said with a small laugh. "You brought back the entire town. Even looking between realms shouldn't take anywhere near that much magic." Blue propped the broom against the wall and motioned for Emma to follow her inside.

Blue's office was located at the back of the ground floor. It was a small room lined with plain wooden shelves half filled with books. Her desk was partially covered with papers and a few candles that were left from the last Miner's Day festival. Blue walked behind the desk and pulled a small hand mirror out of the top drawer. The mirror was wrapped in a plain dish towel, which she removed as she passed the mirror to Emma.

"Look inward," Blue instructed. "Find Regina's presence." Normally she would tell her pupils the they had to use their emotion to fuel their magic, but she suspected that Emma would have no trouble finding that emotion for Regina. "Focus," she coached.

Emma's reflection rippled and dissolved beneath the surface of the mirror, slowly fading into a different scene. Most of the mirror was dark, covered by something. In the bottom corner, the cover didn't quite meet the edge of the mirror. Emma focused on it, expanding the area of the exposed scene so that it filled the small hand mirror.

Leave it to Regina to only keep a single reflective surface around her, Emma thought. Given Regina's past and her affinity for mirror magic, it should have come as no surprise that she would have taken steps to avoid having such magic used against her.

Regina's profile poked out from behind the edge of the covering. Her hair was longer, breaking into waves around her shoulders. Emma could hear the sound of a keyboard in the background, and the intense focus in Regina's eyes confirmed that she was in the midst of work.

"She's okay," Emma breathed in relief. "Can she hear me?" Emma asked Blue.

Blue shook her head. "That kind of communication requires a two-way enchantment. Regina would have to cast the same spell on her side."

"Well, can we do anything else besides see her? Like a locator spell or something?" Now that she knew Regina was okay, she needed to find a way to get to her.

"Sadly, no," Blue told her. "Locator spells that would give you a location in the world beyond Storybrooke require either the blood of the subject or a direct blood relative."

"So, we can only see her, but not find her?" Emma asked in frustration.

"I'm sorry, Emma," Blue apologized as she placed her hand on Emma's shoulder. "I've tried to find another way, but there's nothing." Blue motioned toward the papers on her desk.

"You've been trying to find her?" Emma asked suspiciously. "Why?" Emma didn't know much about Blue and Regina's history, but she gathered that they didn't get along. Regina was always reluctant to turn to Blue for help, and Blue had always been quick to dismiss any sign of good from Regina.

"Regina...she—," Blue tried you search for the right words. "We knew that the portal was a one-way trip. Whoever went through would be trapped here without you and Henry knowing they existed." She walked behind her desk and took a seat, gesturing for Emma to take one of the seat on the opposite side. "Regina insisted that she go as soon as we learned that we could open the portal. She said that the people needed Snow and David, and that the fairies needed me." Blue let out a breath as she recalled the conversation. "She knew that her presence only served to draw in threats to the well-being of the kingdom. She made a lot of enemies who would gladly cut through Snow and Charming's forces to get to her. She insisted that it made the most sense for her to go."

Emma watched Blue's face intently. There was something more that Blue was holding back, Emma was sure of it. "What happened in New York, Blue?"

"Snow saw you and Regina in the mirror," Blue told her. When Emma didn't react, she tried to be more specific. "On the roof. She saw you and Regina on the roof."

"Oh," Emma said as her cheeks turned a bright shade of red.

"She agreed to stay away from you after that, to protect the remaining integrity of the memory spell." Blue swallowed as she remembered the night Emma was hospitalized. "When the spell started to break, when it started to hurt you—," Blue stopped, unsure of what to say. "She was different, Emma."

"Yeah," Emma said, almost as a whisper.

"The Evil Queen would have loved nothing more than to have you out of her life forever," Blue stated without any of the malice Emma might have expected. "But Regina was devastated when she thought her presence had hurt you."

Emma's eyes widened as she made the connection between Blue's words and the video on her phone. Regina had been crying, but not just because she was leaving them. She blamed herself for Emma's blackouts.

"You were right," Blue conceded. "She had changed."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Another update! I should have the rest of the story up later today. I'm pretty excited to hear your reactions to the next chapter. :)
> 
> I do not own OUAT or its characters.

Chapter 7

Emma texted Snow and told her she wouldn't be in that morning. She and Henry sat in the living room of the mansion. Emma transformed the painting above the fireplace into a large mirror, watching as her magic caused the black and white horses to disappear behind a reflective sea.

Emma's magic fogged the glass, obscuring the reflection of the room. It reminded Emma of how condensation fills the windshield of a car on cold days, having to slowly vanish beneath the air from the concealed vents at the far end of the dashboard. She concentrated, willing the fog to clear.

Regina's image filled the mirror. The cover had been removed. Regina stood in front of the mirror brushing her teeth. They could see a small bathroom over her shoulder and a door that looked out into the rest of her living space. There was a table with a laptop on the other side of the doorway, probably the computer Emma had heard earlier. The walls were stained wood, not drywall. The frame around the door was painted a forest green, complimenting the wood grain of the walls.

Had they stepped back and looked at what they were doing, both Emma and Henry probably would have laughed. They sat in awe, letting the relief wash over them as they watched Regina scrub at her teeth. They watched as she patted her mouth dry with a nearby towel before raking her fingers through her hair and sighing. Regina smiled into the mirror, and for a moment they both allowed themselves to believe that she was smiling at them.

Both Henry and Emma were thrilled to see that Regina was alive and well. However, Emma's excitement was tempered by the realization that nothing in the image in the mirror gave clues as to where Regina was. For now, though, just knowing she was safe was enough.

* * *

Emma spent the next few weeks using all of her resources and connections to search for any trace of Regina. One of her colleagues had found several recent addresses registered to an R. Mills and had emailed her a copy of the records. Emma parked herself in the back booth of Granny's and was pouring over the records as she worked her way through an omelet.

Granny reached over Emma's shoulder for her coffee cup. "That's some intense concentration you've got going there," she observed. "What're looking around?"

"Addresses," Emma replies. "Trying to figure out where Regina went."

"Why bother?" Granny asked as she returned Emma's cup. "I figured you'd be relieved that she was gone."

Emma looked up at her, shooting her an almost daring look.

"Listen," Granny said as she slid into the spot across from Emma. "She almost got you killed multiple times. She almost killed your son. Why not just let her go?"

"It's not that simple. I'm not excusing her actions, but she's done a lot since then." Emma looked down at the records as she spoke, hoping Granny would take the hint and walk away. "She's changed."

"Emma," Granny said trying to regain Emma's attention. "Why is this so important to you—"

"Because I need her," Emma shot back. The words came out too quickly and too loudly. "I just...I need to find her." Emma couldn't explain what it had felt like to have the false memories of Regina or of raising Henry. She couldn't explain how she felt when she and Regina were together, both before the curse was destroyed and after. Regina brought out parts of Emma that no one else could see. Even with her false memories, Regina managed to give Emma more solace than even her therapist could offer.

Granny looked Emma over, seeing how she seemed to deflate as she read another record that wasn't what she was looking for. She patted Emma's arm and slid out of the booth.

* * *

Regina sat on the porch of her cabin watching the sun rise over the lake. It was late August and the nights had already started to become colder. The chorus of birds began to pick up as the sun peaked above the horizon. The dew from the treetops began to drip, making the sounds of false rainfall in the forest behind her. The sky was the same orange Regina remembered from the night she spent with Emma. Even in the cold child of the morning, the familiar look of the sunrise filled her with warmth.

She missed them, but she had eventually found peace in knowing they were safe. There were no more texts from Emma, a small assurance that she was completely gone from their memories. She still kept the phone, though, so that she could look at the pictures of Henry and Emma that had been sent. Regina had one of the pictures printed and framed. She kept it on her bedside table so that their smiling faces were the last thing she saw each night and the first thing each morning.

Many things had surprised Regina about her new life. She'd been able to slip out of New York and disappear into the woods quite easily. She had enough money to be comfortable for a while, but she did freelance work to keep busy. It amazed her how effortlessly she was able to glide into a new life.

She was also surprised how little she missed magic. Perhaps it was because she spent almost three decades living in Storybrooke without it, but she rarely found herself wanting for her magic. More likely, the lack of magical foes and adversaries was responsible.

Without all of the complexity and baggage of her life in the Enchanted Forest, Regina had learned to accept herself. There were things she needed to work on—her short temper was her main project—but she was also learning to see the good in herself. She was proud of her resilience. Despite all of the hardship and all of her missteps, she'd still made it here, to a point where she could feel peace.

She sipped some tea from her mug, enjoying the unique taste of the locally grown leaves. She'd sprung for the fancier tea leaves at the store the previous day. After all, she was celebrating today.

As the sun ascended above the horizon, Regina began her day. She answered her emails and made progress on a few outstanding projects. Once she'd felt content with her work, she turned to her main event for the day.

The oven in her cabin was nothing special, but she'd found it was good enough for simple baked goods. She whisked her ingredients together and deposited them into the greased baking pans. While she waited for the timer, she mixed together some frosting. By the time the sun was becoming low in the sky, Regina was finishing putting neat letters on the cake. She carefully placed 13 candles around the round edge, and then carried the creation out onto the porch before retrieving her lighter.

"Happy birthday, my sweet prince," she whispered as she blew out the candles. Even though it was Henry's birthday, she still made a wish as she blew out the candles. Please, be happy, she wished.

Regina stayed out on the porch until the cold began to nip painfully at the tips of her fingers. She tucked her fingers into the bend of her elbows, reluctant to go inside just yet.

She looked up at the moon. Its fullness reflected on the surface of the lake, bouncing the light back toward the forest and lighting up any moisture clinging to the leaves on the trees. The trees near the end of the path in front of her cabin cast long, dark shadows in her direction. She lifted her hands toward the moon, imagining the she could move it and eliminate the shadows.

After a few moments, Regina put her arms down. There was no moving the moon tonight. There was no magic here, and no Emma Swan. She sighed, trying to reminded herself of the happy life that she had given to Henry and Emma. She wondered what they had done with their new lives. Maybe someday Henry would be a famous author and she could read his books to feel closer to him. For now, though, she would make due with simply imagining what they might do.

Maybe Emma had started dating again? She was so much more relaxed when Regina saw her. The freedom from the baggage of her past might make it easier for her to find happiness with someone, she hoped. A small part of her, though, felt disappointed by imagining Emma with someone else.

She imagined what Henry might be doing. Did he and Emma go to his favorite restaurant for dinner? Maybe they went on a special trip? Wherever they were, Regina knew that they would be celebrating for him.

Regina looked over at the yellow Bug parked along the path. She couldn't bear to get rid of it knowing how much Emma loved that car. She'd taken it in case it might trigger any memories of escaping the curse, and now she found herself almost bound to it. She couldn't bring it back, but she couldn't bring herself to part with it. Ironically, she absolutely hated driving it. No matter how often she got it tuned up or what repairs she had done, it always seemed to creak and moan as it drove. She'd never driven a car before that felt so reluctant to be driven.

There was a shop nearby that had fixed the dented door and given it a new paint job. They'd had to put in a special order for the color—an expensive choice, but Regina couldn't bring herself to change it. A few of the engine parts needed replacing, as did the breaks. Several times, the mechanic told her to just scrap the car, but Regina insisted on fixing it. She knew it was silly, but she felt comforted by the presence of that awful car.

As the cold became more overwhelming, Regina decided to go in for the night. She took on last look at the moon, remembering how she and Emma had worked to save Henry. It was a bittersweet thought now, to have finally been on good terms with Emma and saved Henry only to immediately have lost them. She was glad for the memory, though. No matter how much her heart longed to see them again, she would never want to forget them.

* * *

Emma and Henry sat on the back patio of the mayoral mansion looking up at the full moon. They'd spent the evening at Granny's celebrating Henry's thirteenth birthday surrounded by family and friends.

Henry was holding a cupcake that Emma had made for him, and he was currently refusing to eat it.

"Oh, come on," Emma pleaded. "I used your mom's recipe and everything."

"I will blow out the candle, but I will not put this in my mouth," he declared. They both laughed lightheartedly, recognizing Emma's past adversity with baking.

"I've got one more surprise for you," Emma grinned. She pulled a mirrored compact out of her pocket and propped it up on the small side table. She waived her hand in front of it, showing them the view from Regina's bathroom mirror. The cover was off, but they could see where it had fallen on the counter. Regina must not have noticed it yet. They could see her at the table placing candles on a cake. As she finished, she carried the cake out of their view.

Emma reached over and lit the candle on the cupcake. "I figured you'd like to celebrate with your mom."

Henry took the cupcake in his hands and squeezed his eyes shut, making his birthday wish. As he blew out the single candle, he heard Regina say, "Happy birthday, my sweet prince."

Suddenly, a violet flare shot up from the western horizon, flickering as it reached its peak and slowly beginning to descend. The violet glow faded as the flare fell, flickering out just before it reached the tips of the trees.

"What was that?" Henry asked.

"I have no idea, kid."

* * *

Regina closed her laptop. It was still early afternoon, but she was having trouble concentrating. For the moment, she was done with work.

She leaned back in her chair and glanced over at the calendar. It was October 22nd, Emma's birthday. Regina had come across Emma's birthday in her personnel file years ago when she had been appointed as Graham's deputy. Regina had always had a good memory for numbers, and she'd taken special care to keep track of details about Emma when she arrived in Storybrooke.

A month or so after she had moved into the cabin, Regina had met the owner of a nearby apple orchard on one of her daily hikes. He gave her a good price for whole bushels of apples, and the apples were perfect for making Regina's famous—at least within Storybrooke—hard cider. She let the cider ferment a bit longer than was typical, then she added a small amount of sugar just before bottling. The process gave her cider more of a tart taste, but also made it very strong. After the night she and Emma had spent drinking the "decent" growler of cider, she thought it was only fitting to celebrate Emma's birthday with her own superior brew.

Regina walked out onto her porch and lowered herself into the high back of her Adirondack chair. She swept her hair over one shoulder, keeping it from snagging the screws. For the first time in thirty years she had long hair again. She wasn't sure if she liked it—without magic it was much harder to care for.

She pulled a thick knit blanket up to her shoulders. The late October air had a distinct chill to it, warning of the freezing weather to come. Regina was not looking forward dealing with the snow again this year. The snow in Storybrooke could get pretty unruly, but at least the town had a small army of plows to clear it. Her cabin was hours from the nearest major city and none of the roads were paved. If she got hit too hard by snow this winter, she might end up snowed-in in her cabin.

There was an axe propped against the wall behind her chair. The finish was worn around the handle where it had rubbed against her gloves, and telltale splinters of wood were stuck to cheap blade. She added to the wood pile behind the cabin every day. It was a slow process, as she wasn't allowed to fell any new trees in the forest—one of the rules for living within a national park—but she could chop the wood from any trees that fell naturally. She supplemented her wood pile with bundles that were sold at the local hardware store. At the rate she was going, she could fuel her wood stove for at least a month if the power ever went out. She took stock of the pile each morning, taking pride in how self-sufficient she had become.

Regina scrolled through the old messages from Emma. Even with the faulty memories, Emma and Henry looked happy. She knew that missing the fictional version of her had likely dampened that happiness, but they were happy nonetheless. Seeing their smiling faces reassured her that they would still be able to have happiness now, without any memories of her. With all the time she'd spent reflecting on her choice, she was content with her current circumstances. She'd made a lot of mistakes in her life, hurt many of the people who cared for her. This time, though, she got it right.

The cold air slithered through the crevices in her blanket, casting whispers of cold up her arms. She pulled the blanket around her and went back into the cabin, closing the porch door behind her. The sliding glass doors were tempered with an insulating layer, slightly obscuring her view of the lake.

She thought back to her first encounter with Emma Swan, back when the curse was still in place and Henry thought she was evil. Everything about Emma made Regina want to run at that time: the threat she posed to her happiness with Henry, the way her presence seemed to arouse confidence in those around her. What had frightened Regina the most, though, was how Emma's eyes seemed to look directly into her. Despite everything Regina did to Emma, and despite Emma's well-founded suspicion of her, she always seemed to still see the good trying to reach out from behind Regina's walls. That part of Emma, her tendency to see the parts of her that Regina denied, had frightened Regina more than anything else.

After Daniel died and she spent years being trapped and controlled by the king, Regina's biggest defense was her ability hide her vulnerability. Emma could always see it, though; the deep fear that Regina had. The two of them could certainly escalate their fights beyond reason, but when she needed to, Emma had always exercised a unique patience with Regina. She could feel Emma look into her and take on a gentler touch. When Regina was still in the throes of her trauma, Emma's patience had threatened to topple her carefully cultivated lines of defense.

What was it that Emma told her that night she first came to the mansion? That she had wished to not be alone on her birthday? Regina smiled to herself as she leaned back against her chair, turning the bottle of cider on the surface of the table.

She unhinged the swing top of the bottle, hearing the pleasant hiss as carbonation escaped the seal. The aroma of sweet fermented apples and cinnamon filled her nostrils. This was an excellent batch. The amber color reflected the warm lighting of the sunset that was shining through her front windows.

Regina closed her eyes before taking a sip, making her wish for Emma's birthday. She lifted the bottle toward the sun and said, "Happy birthday, Miss Swan. May you never be alone on your birthday again."

After finishing the bottle of cider, Regina took one last look up at the sky through the glass doors near her back porch. She saw what looked like a white shooting star, traveling from the eastern part of the sky. It seemed to linger a moment as it passed overhead, a small acknowledgment of the celebration of Emma's birthday. She knew there was no magic in this world, but, for a moment, she thought she could feel it in the shooting star.

* * *

Emma had called into the station that morning and taken the day off of work. She knew that Snow would have planned some big celebration at Granny's for her birthday, and Emma needed to conserve her energy for the event. Also, unknown to everyone but Henry, Emma planned to spend her day looking for any new clues about where Regina might have gone.

She walked into Regina's study, running her fingers over the books on the shelves. Regina had collected a lot of classic and antique books, their pressed leather spines blending perfectly into the overall style of the room. For most people, Emma would have assumed that the books were just for show. However, she noted small signs of wear on the tops of the spines, showing how Regina had pulled them from the shelves on multiple occasions.

One of the shelves contained tomes about magic; how to cast spells, magic theory, and the history of magic's many uses. Emma figured that Regina added them to her collection after the curse was lifted. There was an ornate cabinet on the mantle above the fireplace, which contained a book with a large red jewel in the center of the cover. Emma gathered from the inscription that the book had belonged to Cora.

Behind the large oak desk were several cabinets that were locked. Emma crouched on the floor, looking defiantly at the keyholes. She and Henry had searched the entire house trying to find keys to various locks they encountered, but they came up empty. She had tried picking the locks, but she couldn't feel any tumblers behind the opening. After spending the previous night teaching herself how to magically undo a simple padlock, she was ready to try opening these.

She let her magic reach out, creeping into the space within the lock. The magic wrapped itself around something that felt like a small lever. Emma twisted her hand, commanding the magic to pull the lever open, but she was met with resistance. She tried again, but more gently. Knowing Regina, the locks would only become more difficult if she tried to force them. She pulled gently at the lever, allowing it to guide her in the proper direction until she heard a heavy clunk from behind the wood. The door fell open, revealing a row of pastel colored binders.

Emma pulled one of the binders onto her lap. It was a photo album. Regina possessed sensitive documents and dangerous magical items, but chose to protect her reminders of Henry. It seemed fitting.

She flipped through the pages, feeling glimmers if her old memories flaring up as she looked at the mementos from Henry's childhood. Regina had given her all of her happy moments with Henry. Emma couldn't imagine the feeling of removing herself from Henry's mind and replacing herself with someone else. Henry was Regina's whole world. It must have been excruciating.

Emma closed the album and placed it back on the shelf, securing the lock as she closed the cabinet door. She leaned back against the desk, warmed by what she had seen but defeated at not finding any new leads. They'd been in Storybrooke for months now and still had no idea where Regina was.

Her colleagues had sent her documents and records for R. Mills, but none seemed to be Regina. She had even briefly considered that Regina was the person who stole her Bug—despite her known hatred for Emma's car—but she found no records of the Bug being found anywhere. If Emma hadn't been so desperate to find her, she would be impressed by how well Regina covered her tracks.

She perused the titles of the books again, looking for any common themes that might be useful, but she had no luck. Regina hadn't kept any travel guides or expressed any interest in other locations. She had been content to stay in Storybrooke with Henry.

Getting up from the floor, Emma left Regina's study. She considered searching Regina's room, but neither she or Henry had wanted to enter. It felt like an intrusion even though Regina wasn't there.

Emma walked through the ground floor of the house. She and Henry had been living there for almost two seasons without Regina. They were messier than Regina was, but they tried their best to maintain the house's condition. They didn't redecorate or move the furniture. None of Regina's possessions were discarded. It was like a promise that she was going to walk through the front door someday.

The decor of the house and Regina's office only gave the indication that Regina like being surrounded by trees. Unfortunately, that did very little in terms of narrowing Emma's search grid.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. Likely a reminder from her mother that she was expected at Granny's. Emma smiled at the text. She'd spent so many birthdays alone, but now she surrounded by an almost exhausting number of people. Sometimes Emma felt like she didn't know what to do with the outpouring of love that her friends and family directed at her. At first, Emma wanted to run from it. After spending the year in New York, though, not remembering anyone from Storybrooke, she recognized how much she valued these people. Her life might feel incomplete without them now.

Granted, she still felt the hole left by Regina's absence. She spent so long fighting with Regina, but now she would give almost anything to have her walk through the door and start throwing criticisms. Emma laughed at the thought. She actually missed Regina standing over her shoulder, unpromptedly telling her what she was doing wrong.

Emma's phone buzzed again, letting her know that it was time to leave her search for now.

She spent the evening at Granny's surrounded by her family, friends, and other townsfolk. They reminisced about the previous year in the Enchanted Forest, telling Emma about how much everyone had missed things like indoor plumbing. She told them about her time in New York. Everyone laughed as Emma recollected a visit she and Henry took to Chinatown in which she had accidentally ordered an entire pig's head. It was a comfortable environment. They were relaxed and happy in a way Emma couldn't remember from her previous time in Storybrooke—likely because there had always been a looming threat of some kind.

After quite a few drinks, Happy could be heard speaking loudly over the crowd in the diner. "Gods, isn't this place better without Regina?"

Emma pulled her mouth into a tight line. She saw Henry's face drop as some of the patrons celebrated his mother's absence.

"Something wrong, Emma?" Snow asked as she put an arm around her daughter's shoulder.

"Just tired," Emma lied, not meeting her mother's eyes.

"Hey, Happy. Cut it out," Charming warned from the other side of the room. He could see how his daughter's whole body language had shifted. "Despite her past, we owe a lot to Regina." He had the tone of a scolding father, which seemed appropriate for quieting the drunken dwarf.

The volume of the diner dropped after Charming's comment. The energy shifted uncomfortably.

"I, um...I'm getting kind of tired," Emma told her mother. "I think I'm going to head back and get some rest." Although the sky had grown dark outside, it was barely past 8pm. Emma was never one to turn in early, something Snow knew after living with her for so long. "You wanna come, kid, or do you want to stay with your grandparents tonight?"

Snows face lit back up immediately at the chance to have Henry for the night. "We're happy to have him, Emma, if you need to rest or anything," Snow half yelled in excitement.

"Sure, mom. I can stay with grandma and grandpa tonight," he told her. Emma's sudden mood shift told Henry that she wanted to be alone for the moment.

"Okay," Emma smiled at him, running her fingers over his hair. "Just text me when you're on your way home."

She could hear a few whispers behind her as she exited the diner. "Is she still looking for Regina? I thought she was done with that?"

"Emma!" Ruby called, running after her.

"Not now, Ruby," Emma pleaded. "I just need some space."

"Wait, I have a serious question for you." Ruby put both hands on Emma's shoulders and looked her in the eye. Emma prepared herself for what was likely to be an uncomfortable question. "Have you broken into Regina's stash of cider?"

"Wh—?" Emma stared back at Ruby, who was doing her best to maintain her serious facial expression.

A joking smirk broke across Ruby's face. "C'mon," Ruby said as she guided Emma by the shoulder. "You can blame me for it when she gets back."

The small acknowledgment of Regina's eventual return brought a smile to Emma's face and she let Ruby lead her back to the mansion.

Regina kept her stores of cider in the basement. The sealed bottles gave no olfactory hints as to their sweet contents. She and Ruby each grabbed a couple bottles and wandered out to the back patio. Without thinking, Emma pulled out her compact and conjured the view from Regina's mirror.

"I did this for Henry's birthday, too," she admitted. "So he could celebrate with his mom." She was almost embarrassed by her actions, still feeling unsure about whether to show her feelings for Regina to others.

"I think it would make her happy," Ruby reassured her.

They could see orange slivers of light being cast along the surfaces in the next room. The cover that Emma had remembered was nowhere in sight. Either Regina was certain no one would be watching, or she'd stopped caring.

Regina wasn't there at first, making Emma's heart sink for a moment. They heard the heavy thud of a door sliding closed, followed by Regina sitting down at a table. She was holding her own bottle of cider, which almost made Emma laugh—great minds and all.

They saw Regina lift her bottle and pause for a moment. "Happy birthday, Miss Swan. May you never be alone on your birthday again."

Ruby and Emma clinked the necks of their bottles before joining in Regina's toast. Just as they brought the bottle away from their mouths, Emma saw the same purple flare in the western sky as she had seen on Henry's birthday.

"What is that?" Ruby asked, noticing how Emma's eyes widened at the sight.

"I think it's Regina," Emma gasped. She looked at the time. It was 9:46pm. The sun had been set for three hours. Wherever Regina was, the was just setting. She was west of Storybrooke. "The same thing happened on Henry's birthday," she tried to explain, barely realizing that she had spoken.

Emma put down her bottle and walked to the center of the lawn. She shut her eyes tightly and wished that she could send the same sign to Regina. As she released a breath, a silver pulse of magic burst from her chest and shot up into the sky.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of serious accident.
> 
> I do not own OUAT or any of its characters.

Chapter 8

Winter rushed in that year, blanketing coastal Maine thick snow before mid-November. Emma's days were filled with reports of fender-benders and sending out warnings about slick sidewalks. By late January, the ice became a permanent fixture on the small town's walkways.

Emma sat in the police cruiser, sipping her morning coffee before going into the station. She'd been checking the roads since 5am, deciding whether or not to recommend a snow day for the school.

Her compact mirror sat on the dashboard. She briefly conjured the image of Regina, seeing that she was still sound asleep. Emma had determined that Regina was in the Mountain Time Zone based on the differences in sunrise and sunset. She checked in on her about once a week and noticed how she had been putting on a coat and snow boots before going outside, meaning that she someplace where it snowed. Judging by the snow on her clothes when she would return, she was someplace that got quite a bit of snow. Her search grid was certainly narrower based on these details, but the possible locations still covered entire states.

She threw back the last of her coffee and closed the mirror. "Good morning, Regina," Emma whispered as she put the mirror in her pocket.

The sheriff's station was filled with an almost chilling silence. In her previous time in Storybrooke, she could hardly ever remember being alone in the station. Granted, they seemed to be dealing with almost constant crises back then, whereas the town had been almost mind numbingly quiet since Emma returned.

She pulled in her chair behind the desk and opened her email. No new information on Regina. That had been the case for over a month now. Without another lead, she might be stuck driving through states hoping to accidentally run into Regina—which was far from ideal.

Emma pulled her phone from her pocket. She scrolled through her messages absentmindedly, not focusing on any of them in particular. Suddenly, she remembered how she had been texting Regina's old number while she was living in New York. When she had visited Emma's apartment, Regina had told her that she'd never gotten a new phone. Emma had assumed that meant that Regina's old number was dead.

She opened the compact mirror and summoned the image of Regina. The room was still dark and she could hear Regina's even breathing.

Emma held her phone in front of her, not sure what she wanted to say to Regina. She wasn't even sure the message would be sent to her. In case the message didn't go to Regina, Emma decided to play it safe.

'Hey,' she started typing. 'New phone. Whose number is this?' She hit send, almost disappointed at how impersonal the message was.

She watched in the mirror as Regina's phone lit up. Regina's eyes flew open as she snatched up the phone. Emma watched as her face filled with a mix of disappointment and relief.

Emma observed Regina's mixture of emotions, realizing that she might not be sure whether Emma sent the message.

'It's Emma,' she sent, watching Regina's reaction carefully.

Regina's hand flew to her mouth. In the darkness of the early morning, Emma couldn't tell if Regina was happy or upset by the messages.

Emma wasn't sure how much she wanted to tell Regina. As far as Regina knew, Emma and Henry still couldn't remember her. If she called Regina or said too much, she might panic. No, she couldn't do this over the phone. She needed to be able to show Regina that she was okay. She needed to do this in person.

She turned back to the computer. She entered her request to have the location of Regina triangulated. By early the next morning, she was told that Regina was likely within a small radius next to a small lake in Colorado.

Emma called Henry, who was just waking up and told him to stay with his grandparents for the next few days.

"Where are you going?" His groggy voice sounded distinctly annoyed.

"I'm gonna bring her back, Henry," Emma told him. "I'm gonna bring Regina back."

* * *

Several days had passed since Regina received Emma's messages. She assumed that Emma didn't remember her, based on what the messages said, and it left her heart aching. Even though she had erased the memories herself, it still hurt to be reminded that Emma and Henry didn't know her. It hurt to know that reaching them was only text message away, and she couldn't even allow herself that indulgence.

Regina looked over at the shuddered doors that led to her porch. She hadn't been able to access her porch in weeks due to the snow. The doors had been shuddered since early December, blocking her view of the sunrise.

Her front door was no better. The entire walkway was blocked by more than five feet of snow. For the past few weeks, Regina had been crawling out through one of her windows. She used snow shoes to make her treks to a nearby store, pulling her groceries on a sled behind her. Despite the inconvenience, the trips were quite pleasant. She loved how the sun made the snow look like it was glowing at midday. Most of the wildlife in her area wasn't very active during this time, so she was able to soak in the absolute silence in the early mornings.

She pulled on her boots and snow gear, preparing to make her multi-hour trek for supplies. It was still early and she could see snow falling in soft clumps in the silver morning light. She glanced at the date on her phone: February 1st. It was her birthday today. Perhaps she would pick up something special to celebrate.

Her snowshoes crunched against the fresh snow. The snow was falling faster than she'd realized and her tracks were covered almost as quickly as she made them. Luckily, she'd tied ribbons to the trees in the previous weeks, making it easy to find her way. She really had become very self-reliant since she moved from New York, she mused.

She followed the ribbons to a trail near the main road, several miles away from her cabin. The sun was higher now, but still hidden behind the gloomy winter clouds. The reflective strips on her coat glinted in the few rays that managed to peak through cloud cover. She saw one or two cars throughout her journey, but otherwise the road was totally bare.

She reached the small store a couple of hours later. It amazed her how easy the journey was during the warmer months, taking no more than 30 minutes, even in bad weather. In this snow, though, grocery shopping was a day-long affair. She unclipped her snow shoes and stepped into the store.

"'Gina!" the clerk called from behind the front counter. "How was the walk today?"

"Hey, Jack," she responded. "Still hate that nickname," she joked. "It's really coming down out there."

She scanned the shelves, putting the supplies she needed in her basket. She grabbed a few staples, mostly canned or dried goods that would keep for a few weeks. A small liquor store was attached on the far side of the space. Regina looked over the bottles, her eyes falling on dark colored rum. She'd seen the bottle in Emma's kitchen in New York. It was aged in oak barrels for more than twenty years and the label boasted its smooth caramel flavor. She put the bottle in her basket. Regina hated rum, but toasting to her birthday with something Emma like might feel like she was celebrating with her.

She walked to the front of the store and placed her basket on the counter.

Jack whistled at the bottle of rum, impressed by Regina's choice. "What's the occasion?" he inquired.

"It's my birthday today," Regina said as she passed him her ID.

"What?!" Jack took the ID from her, verifying the date. "Okay, hold up there, 'Gina. You cannot be telling me that you're gonna shuffle back to that little cabin all alone to celebrate your birthday."

"That's the plan," she said as she took the ID back. "A nice meal and some fancy rum while I curl up by the fire."

She and Jack had a comfortable rapport. He'd put her in touch with the rental office for her the cabin she lived in, and he'd helped her get her bearings during her first few months in the woods. Jack was in his late forties, with shaggy gray hair that was white around his temples. His skin was leathery after years of exposure to harsh weather. He had two teenage sons that occasionally helped around the shop. His wife, Janice tended the bar that was next door.

"Okay, I've gotta put my foot down on this." He gestured almost comically as pretended to bring up a serious matter. "I let it pass when you had Thanksgiving and Christmas alone. I even kept my mouth shut when you didn't come to the New Year's festivities." He crossed his arms and tilted his head forward, pointing one index finger down to tap the counter. "This though, young lady, is the last straw. I insist that you celebrate with us."

Regina jokingly scoffed, secretly considering the offer. "I dunno, Jack."

"Look here," he said, putting out his arms and motioning for her to wait. "I'm closing down the shop for the day. Now we can go over to the bar and celebrate properly." He walked around the counter, tossing down his apron and flipping the sign on the front door to 'closed.' He stood in front of her, hands on his hips and head tilted in the direction of the bar entrance. His eyes flicked from Regina to the door, a goofy sort of command for her to go celebrate.

"Jack," Regina halfheartedly tried to reason with him. "I still need to walk back to the cabin. It's at least two hours, of not closer to four."

"Nonsense!" He placed a hand on her shoulder. "We'll have the boys drive you back on the snowmobiles. That'll be much safer than walking, anyway."

"Well," Regina started, only pretending to fight Jack on his offer. "Maybe just for a little while."

"Excellent!" He ran ahead of her to the door that connected to the bar and leaned into the next room. "Janice! Fire up the grill! We're celebratin' 'Gina's birthday today!"

Regina could hear a "woo" sound from the next room, making her break into a smile.

* * *

The nasty weather had substantially slowed Emma's progress on the road. The drive should have only taken two or three days, but she was just starting day six. Her GPS said that the area Regina was in was only a few more hours away, but Emma suspected that she might have to stop and wait for the snow storm to clear up.

A sign on the road indicated that the next gas station would be the last one for 60 miles. The icon in the corner showed that there was also a restaurant, so Emma pulled off, hoping to wait out the worst of the storm.

As she pulled the car into park, her phone began to buzz in her pocket. Emma knew who it was without looking. "Hey, Henry," she greeted.

"Have you found her yet?" His tone was excited and he was likely hoping to be able to speak to Regina soon.

"My day has been fine so far, thanks for asking," she told him, ignoring his actual question. "I'm in Colorado now, but I'm waiting out a storm for a bit before I finish the drive."

"You have to find her today, though!" Henry was insistent. "It'll be perfect! She'll be so surprised to see you on her birthday!"

"I think she'll be surprised even if it's not her birthday, kid," Emma said as she got out of the car. "Trust me, though. I'm not taking any longer than I have to. I promise."

"I know," Henry admitted.

"I'll let you know when I get there, okay?" Emma asked. "If the storm clears soon, I can get there before 5."

"Okay," he agreed.

They said their goodbyes and Emma walked into the diner. She sat at the counter and ordered a coffee, then pulled out a map that she purchased at her hotel that morning.

"Where ya headed?" the waitress asked as she filled Emma's cup.

"Dropping in for a surprise visit," Emma told her. "Hey, do you know anything about the area around this lake?" Emma pointed to the lake on her map.

"Let's see," the woman leaned forward. "There's a few cabins around the lake, just little one or two room things." She pulled the map toward her to get a better look. "You can usually take this road here to get to the main office, but it's probably snowed in around this time."

"Crap," Emma muttered.

"If it helps, I think there's only one lady who lives there year-round."

Emma perked up at this revelation.

"Quiet lady with dark hair. She stops by here every now and then during the summer." The waitress slid the map back to Emma.

Emma fished through her pockets for the photo she'd brought. "Is this her," Emma asked as she held out the picture.

"Yeah, that'd be her," the waitress confirmed. "I think she's in one of the places on the west side of the lake. She said she like watching the sunrises."

Emma pulled some cash out of her pocket and put it on the counter. "Thank you so much," she said as she folded up the map and turned to leave.

The snow was still coming down, but Emma had convinced herself that it looked a bit lighter. She filled her tank and pulled out of the parking lot.

She was so close.

* * *

Regina spent most of the day with Jack and his family. There hadn't been much of a crowd in the bar, given the weather, but she'd had a splendid time with the patrons who were there. Janice had whipped up some of the bar's best dishes and a few of the patrons rigged up the karaoke machine. All of the company and attention made Regina realize how lonely she'd been over the last year.

"So," Jack started as he and his wife were collecting dishes from around the bar. "I can't believe a sweet lady like you would be spending her special days all alone. What'd you do before this?"

"I used to celebrate with my son," Regina told him. Her head was fuzzy from all the drinks and she saw no reason to lie.

"Where's he at? Must be a sweet kid if you raised him," Janice called from the kitchen.

"He's gone now," Regina admitted as she looked down. "He and his other mom. I lost them a couple years ago." If not for comfortable buzz from the alcohol, Regina might have started crying. She could feel how her heart fell in her chest, pounding against her ribs as though it intended to escape and take her longing with it. She wouldn't mourn today, though, she told herself. It had been a good day. She wanted to hold onto the warmth from the affection she'd received. After her time away from her family, she wanted to believe, at least for the moment, that she could move forward and make new bonds with the people around her. It would never be the same as Henry and Emma—nothing could ever replace them—but it was a reminder of what they'd shown her: she could love and find happiness.

Janice came out from the kitchen and exchanged a sad look with her husband. She placed a warm hand on Regina's shoulder, squeezing it softly. "You must have loved them very much."

"I do," Regina said. She took a sharp inhale and tried to keep the tears in the corners of her eyes from falling. She looked back at Janice, releasing a breath and giving a thankful smile.

Jack and Janice finished collecting glasses and plates as the patrons filtered out of the bar. Only Regina and a man named Billy remained. Billy lived a bit past Regina down the main road and had offered to give her a ride back to her cabin.

"We gotta get you into a snowmobile, my girl," Jack told her. "Next weekend," he told her. "Next weekend we'll take you to the place we got ours. I'm tellin' you, it'll change your life."

"Sounds like a plan," Regina agreed. This was good, she told herself. She could have a life here—a real life, with happy moments and people who cared for her.

She and Billy put on their snow gear and prepared to leave.

"Don't be stranger, 'Gina," Janice said as she pulled Regina in for a hug. "Happy birthday."

Regina returned the hug and nodded before walking outside. She and Billy loaded her groceries onto the sled he towed behind the snowmobile. They checked the bungee cords, making sure everything was secure before climbing onto the seats and starting the engine.

Regina's head was still fuzzy from all the drinks, but the cold air on her face was very sobering. Billy only had one helmet and he insisted she wear it, as she was the birthday girl. The helmet felt unfamiliarly heavy, making her head bounce back and forth as they went over bumps.

The ice-covered trees raced by, glittering in the light of the full moon. Regina looked up at, marveling at how bright it was—almost unusually bright.

The roads were deserted. They'd only seen a single car so far, traveling cautiously over the nearly invisible pavement. The roar of the snowmobile engine blocked out all other sound, playing a soundtrack of low growls over her view of the night.

Regina saw a light flash, and turned to see what it was just in time to see a pair of taillights only inches behind her.

* * *

Her head throbbed. The world was a dark blur. She could see the hazy disk of the moon pierced by the trunk of a leafless tree, but she couldn't make out the stars or any tree branches.

She tried to turn her head, feeling the snow rub against her hair. Hadn't she been wearing a helmet? She was on her back, her left side against a tree trunk. The smell of freshly cut wood hung in the air and she could feel splinters if wood on her face and in her sleeves.

Regina lifted her head slightly. The snow had already started to cover her body. She needed to move or she would be buried.

There were voices in the distance that she couldn't make out. She could hear the squawking howl of a siren, but she couldn't see the lights. Did they know she was out here?

She rolled over, immediately regretting the decision as sharp pain erupted from her left side. She couldn't move her left leg and she didn't dare look at it. There was blood in the snow where her head had been and she noticed part of the helmet a few yards away.

Her arms seemed fine; probably bruised, but not broken. She was missing one of her gloves and the joints in her fingers ached as she tried to pull herself through the snow. She just needed to get to the road. She could find help if she made it to the road.

It was a slow journey. She tried to call out, but it only made her cough and gasp for air. Her whole body protested as she dragged herself across the frozen ground. Black spots flickered at the edges of her vision as she continued.

"No," she whispered to herself. "Stay awake."

Her view of the road blurred and twisted. This was the direction of the road, right? She couldn't hear the voices or the sirens anymore. She could only see snow and tree trunks in every direction.

The flickers of black became more frequent and her field of vision started to narrow.

"Just stay awake," she whispered.

* * *

Emma drove slowly down the main road that ran past the lake. She caught glimpses of half buried street signs with no indication of where their roads led.

In the distance, Emma saw the flicker of a road flare. She pulled her car off the road a few yards away and got out, leaving her headlights on. She pulled a flashlight from her pocket and used it to survey the scene.

The road flare was one of five that had been set and was beginning to dim as Emma approached. There were pieces of machinery scattered in the ditch, most of them starting to become buried by the falling snow. She could see the band of a snowmobile hanging off of a nearby tree. The snow at the base of a fallen tree was bright pink, the fresh snow covering what Emma guessed was blood. There was a thick odor of gasoline hanging in the air, either from the accident or from the emergency vehicles that had recently left.

Emma could feel her heart start to race as she looked down at the map on her phone. Regina lived near here.

She saw bits of splattered food on some of the trees and the wind was pushing around a thin plastic bag with 'Larson's General' printed on the front. Were these groceries splattered across the trees?

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She couldn't talk to Henry now.

Dread flooded into her mind. She had no way of knowing whether Regina was even involved in the accident, but the pounding in her chest and the panic of her thoughts seemed to say otherwise.

"Regina!" Emma yelled into the dark. "Regina!" She'd come too far now. This could not be the end of their story.

She looked frantically through the scene, looking for any sign of Regina. There were broken branches that she could see farther into the woods. Emma ran toward them, her feet sinking into the snow with each step.

She saw more blood near a tree farther into the woods. As she tried to pull her foot up to run, her boot snagged on branch. She looked down and a saw a reflective strip poking out of the near her foot. Pulling it up, she realized it was attached to a coat. Beneath the hood was a tangle of dark hair.

"Regina," Emma gasped as she brushed the hair out of her face. "No, no, no," she started to repeated. "No, no, no! I'm here! I made it here!" She pulled Regina's body out of the snow pile, her own legs sinking deeper into the snow.

She pulled out her phone and called 911. The ringing as the call connected felt like an eternity. "I need an ambulance!" she yelled into the phone. She gave the operator her location as she tried to pull Regina closer to the road. The operator asked if Regina was breathing and Emma said yes without checking. Her pants were coated in ice by the time she reached the road. Regina's body was limp in her arms.

"Hold on," Emma cried into Regina's coat as she held her close. "Just hold on."

She cradled Regina's head so that her forehead rested against Emma's cheek. Emma couldn't feel Regina's breath. Regina's skin was cold against Emma's face. "Please," she pleaded, "please don't leave me."

Emma knew that magic wouldn't work out here. She knew that true love's kiss couldn't fix injuries from a car accident. As she waited in the dark for the ambulance, though, becoming more and more desperate, it was all she could think to do. She pressed her lips into Regina's forehead.

No magic released.

Regina didn't gasp awake.

Emma tried again and again until she heard the sounds of sirens.

"I love you, Regina," Emma said through her tears as she kissed Regina one last time.

They sat in complete stillness as the emergency vehicles approached.

An ambulance and a police cruiser arrived seconds later, loading Regina's body onto a stretcher. Her arm fell limply over the edge of the frame. Emma heard the paramedics talking urgently as they charged the defibrillator and closed the doors. She watched in shock as the flashing lights disappeared into the night, not even hearing the police officer who was asking her questions.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own OUAT or any of its characters.

Chapter 9

Emma sat in the waiting area around the corner from the ICU. The police had driven her to the hospital and sent a tow truck for Emma's car. Her clothes had been in the trunk, so a nurse had given her scrubs and some slippers to wear when she arrived. She hadn't even noticed how her boots had filled with snow or how blood from Regina's head wound had saturated her shirt. She kept her clothes in a plastic bag from the gift shop.

She had been given no updates on Regina's condition. Emma at least knew that she wasn't dead, but that was it. Henry had called her with increasing frequency, probably realizing that something was wrong. She didn't know what to tell him, though. Her thoughts collided with one another, the world seeming to stand still and lurch forward at the same time as she sat in complete stillness on the flimsy plastic chair.

It had been three hours since she had found Regina in the snow. She didn't know what to do. There wasn't anything to do.

Emma had spent most of her life living without magic. Even after she got her memories back, she didn't really feel like she was at a loss without magic. Until now, that is.

Her phone rang again. She knew that she would need to answer eventually. The screen read "Mary Margaret Blanchard"—not the person Emma was expecting.

"Hello," Emma answered.

"Emma! We were so worried when Henry couldn't reach you!" Snow's relief at her safety made Emma's heart drop. "Is everything okay? Did you find Regina?"

Emma stared straight ahead. It felt like there were no good answers to Snow's questions.

"I got caught in a storm and just pulled into a hotel," Emma lied. Her words were flat.

"You sound strange. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," Emma lied again. "Just really tired." She needed this call to end. If she kept talking she would definitely fall apart. "I really need to lie down. I'll call you in the morning." She ended the call, not waiting for a response from her mother.

She stared at the phone and opened her text conversation with Regina.

'Please be okay,' she sent.

* * *

Everything was too bright. Even with her eyes closed, the light set off sharp pains splintering along the sides of her head. Her ears rang loudly, muffling the sounds coming from nearby.

She tried to lift her arms. Moving her left arm made a series of sharp pains erupt up the side of her chest. Her right arm was heavily bandaged and her fingers protested with a dull burning when she tried to move them. She tried to call for someone to turn off the lights, but the words came out as a raspy whistle.

Her right leg was sore but seemed to move freely, while her left leg gave off a persistent symphony of sharp and dull pain. No getting up, she thought to herself.

Regina's vision slowly came into focus, and with it came her awareness of how broken her body was. She realized that air was being forced into her lungs even though it felt like she was choking. Panicking, she ignored the pain in her side so that she could lift her arm and pull the object out of her throat.

The tube scraped the inside of her throat as she tugged and she coughed as the end left her mouth. She gasped for air, trying to breathe normally.

She laid back against the pillows, feeling her ribs punish her for her movement. She released a small yelp as she tried to relax.

"Regina?" a woman asked. The voice was familiar, but Regina's mind was too jumbled to recall where she'd heard it. "Regina, are you awake?"

"Lights," she croaked.

"Yeah, I got it," the woman responded. Regina heard her move quickly and the lights dimmed soon after.

"Everything hurts," Regina whimpered.

"Yeah, you were in a pretty serious accident." The woman stroked her cheek gently.

She turned her head into the woman's hand, reveling in the warmth of the contact. Her vision was filled with blond locks. They looked so familiar. The light from the hall shined through the feathery layers, casting a golden glow. She wanted to reach out and touch the soft hair, but something in the back of her mind began to sound an alarm. Along with the pain the would come with moving her arms, some part of her seemed to believe that she shouldn't be seeing the blonde hair, let alone touching it.

"Where am I?" she managed to ask. Her memory before the accident slowly trickled forth.

"You're in a hospital outside of Denver," the woman told her. "You've been unconscious for a few days."

"What happened to Billy?" she asked. She remembered being on his snowmobile, but she hadn't seen him after the crash.

"He was thrown into a tree and died on impact," the woman said. "I'm so sorry, Regina."

A nurse came in the room to remove the ventilator tubes that Regina had pulled out. She administered some pain medication, which quickly dulled the discomfort Regina was feeling from multiple places. She sighed with relief as the pain in her head began to subside.

Her head filled with a warm sensation that flowed down her body. She could feel her thoughts flowing out of her mouth completely unfiltered, but she didn't seem to care.

"I almost died and my son doesn't even know I exist," she started. The words were laced with sadness, the emotion only slightly dampened by the haze of the medication.

"Regina, he knows you exist—"

"No, listen. I'm serious. I erased his memory," she continued.

"I know—"

"No, no, no. Just listen. I did it so they could be safe. I was such a terrible mother, but I finally did something right." Her thoughts were tangled together.

"You were not a terrible mother. Henry loves you, Regina."

Regina ignored what the blond woman was saying. "And then Miss Swan." Regina's eyes started to feel heavy. "I finally was happy with her, but it hurt her. I really...," her mind became clouded as her eyes slid closed.

"You really what, Regina?" The woman's voice sounded more insistent now.

"Love her," Regina mumbled as she started to fall back to sleep. "She doesn't even know."

"I know, Regina," Emma said as she stroked Regina's hair.

* * *

Regina could hear talking the next time she woke up.

"She's sleeping now, but she's off the ventilator...Yeah, they said she'll recover...I don't think that's a good idea yet. She's still pretty loopy...No, stay there. She wouldn't want him to see her like this...Okay, I'll call you later."

"Mmm," Regina groaned as she opened her eyes. She looked over at the woman in the chair. She looked just like Emma, Regina thought to herself. "Why are you here? Who are you?"

"Regina, look at me. It's Emma." The words were filled with concern. "Please, look at me." She sounded desperate for something.

Regina's head protested when she tried to focus. She hissed as she reached up to hold her head.

"I found you in the snow a week ago. You were in an accident." The woman took a breath, steadying her voice. "Regina I thought you died. I thought you were gone forever." Her voice cracked. "Please," she pleaded. "Please recognize me."

Regina looked into her green eyes. They were red with tears and dark circles hung beneath them. Blond hair framed her face and cascaded over her shoulders. Even in the cold hospital lighting, her hair had a such a warm gold, she mused.

"Emma?" Regina asked.

"Yeah," Emma replied through a small cry. "Yeah, it's Emma."

"No," she argued back. "You're supposed to be in New York with Henry." Her head throbbed. "I took your memories."

"I know," Emma told her. "You captured them in the dream catchers. We, um, fried them when I restored Storybrooke...sorry."

The grogginess started to dissipate, bringing all of her physical pain into her awareness. "Ooo," Regina moaned as she felt all the places that were impacted by the accident.

"Do you want me to call a nurse? They haven't given you any pain meds in the last few hours."

"No," Regina said as she winced. "I want to be awake."

"You need to rest," Emma told her, gently pushing back on Regina's shoulder. "You almost died." Her voice broke on the last word.

"I don't understand." Regina laid back on the pillows.

"I—," Emma was considering what to say. "I was going to surprise you on your birthday. There was an accident before I got there and I found you buried in the snow." Emma stopped and looked down at her knees. "If I had found you sooner...I'm so sorry."

"For what?" Regina was confused.

"You were alone and you didn't have to be. If I had just located your phone sooner, we wouldn't even be here." Emma's eyes were wide as she tried to make sense of the situation.

"Miss Swan," Regina tried to say in her most regal voice. She saw Emma look up at her. "How are you even here?" The words were warm and full of disbelief.

Emma explained how she and Henry had recovered their memories and how Emma had brought back Storybrooke. She explained how she and Henry had spent months trying to find her.

"You could have died," Regina told her.

"I think I almost did," Emma admitted. "I think the magic in the dream catchers gave me enough of a boost to keep me alive, though." She smiled at Regina. "Thank goodness you left them behind."

"I guess so," Regina chuckled. She let out a breath as her face turned more serious. "I'm so sorry Emma. For everything."

"I think you've more than made up for your evil past, Regina." Emma took Regina's bandaged hand into her own.

The conversation felt awkward. They'd both expressed how they felt, but neither knew if the other was aware. Their relief at seeing one another was reserved, inhibited by their fear of rejection.

Emma finally spoke, breaking the tense silence. "I read your books," she started. "I read about how the memory curses work. You use a framework and then their minds fill it in with events—"

"The events that would make them happiest. Yes," Regina finished. "We thought maybe Henry's bond with me was strong enough that I stayed in his memories."

"I mean, he does have a strong bond with you," Emma agreed. Regina's heart sank when she heard Emma accept the explanation. "But...Regina...I think I wanted you there, too."

The words hung in the air between them for a moment. Regina was shocked—pleased, but still shocked. "I wanted to stay with you in New York," Regina blurted out. Her eyes welled up with tears as she released a breath she didn't realized she was holding.

"I know," Emma smiled back.

"You know?" Her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Yeah, my phone was on when you erased our memories." Emma pulled out her phone and showed Regina the video.

Regina looked back at Emma. "And you're okay now?"

"Yeah, Henry and I are both fine."

"I was so afraid," Regina let her tears fall, realizing how much she'd been holding in her fear of hurting Emma over the last year. "Your mind broke because of me."

"Hey, hey," Emma soothed, pulling her chair forward so that she could hold Regina close. "You didn't break me. I wanted you there. I wanted to remember you so badly that I pulled back your cursed town just so that the memories would make sense." Emma drew calming circles on Regina's arm, just as she had done in New York. "I needed you so badly that even when I had no memory of you, I still tried to find you."

"You needed me?" Regina asked.

"Yes," Emma said gently. "I need you."

Regina pulled back so that she could see Emma's eyes, then leaned forward and kissed her, releasing a small pulse of magic across the hospital room.

* * *

Regina was cleared to leave the hospital two weeks later after agreeing to check into the Storybrooke hospital as soon as she got home. She and Emma had smirked about the agreement once they were safely in Emma's Benz, both recognizing that they could use magic to heal her as soon as they crossed the line.

The roads were much clearer than on Emma's way there, but the trip still took longer than expected. Emma drove cautiously, not willing to risk Regina being hurt by another accident.

As they crossed the town line, Emma pulled over so that Regina could heal herself—she had insisted that Henry not see her in her injured state. The familiar purple smoke gathered and swirled around her. As it cleared, it revealed the Regina that Emma had remembered. She stood confidently on the road for a moment and then walked back to Emma, pulling the other woman into her arms.

"Welcome back, Madame Mayor," Emma whispered into her ear, before pressing her own lips into Regina's. As they parted, Regina paused and rested her forehead against Emma's. They stayed like that for a moment, relishing the contact that both had longed for since their night on the rooftop.

Regina laughed lightly as she released Emma. "I'm not sure I'm still the mayor."

"Trust me, anyone who needed permits approved has missed you." Her tone was joking, but the statement was true.

They drove to the house on Mifflin Street and pulled into the driveway. Emma had called Henry that morning and told him to meet them at home.

Regina and Emma walked to the front door, Emma letting Regina pass the threshold before her. As Regina entered, her son was suddenly in her arms. She held him tightly, as though at any moment he might prove to be a hallucination. She kissed the crown of his head, taking in the familiar scent of his hair. He was here! Her boy was here in her arms! Her breath caught in her throat as she slowly accepted that she wasn't dreaming.

Emma watched the reunion from the doorway. There before her was everything she could have ever wanted. The residents of Storybrooke would talk about overcoming obstacles to get their happy endings, like it was some epic journey for a single moment of happiness. She'd always hated the sound of that. She and Regina and Henry weren't finished with their happiness—they'd just found it.

This wasn't a happy ending. This was just happiness.

This was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed my first complete fic! I know there are places that the writing could be improved, and I am hoping to get better in my next fic, which has already been in progress for a few weeks. The next one is basically the opposite of this story, where Pan's curse is successfully cast.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who left reviews—it was very encouraging and I really appreciated it! :)
> 
> Thank you all for reading!


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